Stylish Laptop Bags

Where to get nice women's laptop bags? I want to have a nice women's laptop bags to carry to office, i dono where to find it, i find a lot online, but i want to purchase in shops, somebody shed some light pls

Women's Laptop Bag/Briefcase w/removable purse? I'm looking for a professional looking laptop bag/briefcase that will hold my 13" laptop as well as a few files or papers that has a removable or zip-off purse. Some bags have interior organizing pockets (e.g., with credit card slots), but I want to be able to take just the purse items easily without having to lug the whole bag out to lunch.

"Book" brand laptop bags? On a recent trip, I saw a woman with an adorable laptop bag so I asked where she got it and she said, "off a website called 'Book.'" So I've looked all over and tried many different search terms but came up with nothing. Has anyone ever heard of such a brand? The bag looked like a regular neoprene laptop sleeve, turned on its side, with a messenger bag type strap. It was very sleek and simple.

Laptop cases for women? I'm trying to find some type of laptop bag/case for my laptop. Besides pretty much Vera Bradley, I haven't found any for women. I've seen Hello Kitty stuff and a ton of really boring black cases that look more manly. That's not really what I'm looking for. Anybody know where to find some? I've tried Zappos, Ebay and Amazon, so please don't give me any links to there, because I've looked.

Do they make cute computer totes/bags for women? I'm 18, and I'm looking for a cute purse to carry all my stuff in for class. I need a bag with a pocket for my laptop. I have one but its really worn out now. I can't seem to find any cute ones out there. Any suggestions of places to look? Oh, and I'm on a budget. I don't have a lot of money to spend on it.

Where can I find a cool laptop bag? does anyone know of any cute laptop bags? I'm in college. I want something cool not boring business woman like or boring ugly black ones. Where can I buy one online or in stores? If anyone has any suggestions please post links or any info. Thanks.

What is a good women's business and laptop tote brand? I am searching for a good quality business and laptop tote for women. I am a college student and I have so many bags and things to carry my books in and a laptop case or two, even a wheeled case. I carry so much stuff - books, binders, folders of papers, and soon I will probably be carrying around my laptop, too. Usually I've been able to get away with keeping most stuff in my dorm and switching around what I need - but I'm probably going to start commuting and I wanted to ask for a good bag for my birthday. I'm slightly picky, I'm looking for something stylish, yet incredibly sturdy due to how much I tend to lug around. I'm also hoping I can get one that will not look too "young", as I am would like to be able to use it as a professional adult, too. I like kinds that zip on the top and have pockets on the outside and the inside. I need something I can carry on my shoulder with a ton of stuff in it without the straps either fraying and breaking or being too uncomfortable (I'm think that part might be impossible). Well, any suggestions on a good brand that is not too expensive would be greatly appreciated!

Women's laptop totes? Where can I find a stylish laptop case? I'm really into designer bags so i was hoping to find something that was a little more "fashionable" than what I've seen. (Just plain leather black and brown) I like funky styles, animal prints... Know of where I can find a good brand or store that sells cute laptop cases?

Pretty Laptop Bag????? I'm looking for a laptop bag for girls/women that has a "fashion forward" print or in other words, a pretty laptop bag. Thanks in advance! (LINKS HELP!)

Laptop Bag for a small woman? I am 5'2" and I am getting a Mac Book Pro 15.4"- I need a way to carry it, and a cell phone, iPod, wallet and a couple other little essentials around with me while I travel abroad. It does NOT need to be gorgeous, and I'd prefer it wasn't conspicuous at all, actually. I'm trying to avoid being a target of theft while traveling in Japan. However, the bag needs to be as slim and small as possible while getting the job done. And I don't want to ever need to set it down to do something, so it needs a shoulder strap or backpack style straps.

Would a women's purse count as one piece of carry on baggage? I am travelling with a toddler & I will have my purse, a diaper bag, a laptop, and the stroller (which I would assume wouldn't count as it goes below with the check in luggage) I'm flying NWA. I believe I am allowed 2 carry on's while flying with a toddler.

I “WINK” at the most RANDOM WOMEN; Please read in for the RESPONSES I received lately? I am 18 years old; as you can guess I am still at that stage of life where I get a kicking out off the most random thing. However I am not your average 18 year old booze loving teenager; I am the one with a suit and a laptop bag ;o). When I wink at women, some give me real weird looks, some laugh and some even wink back (I guess women simply love attention and feel in demand when an act like this is pulled). However the best one ever is “while on a train I winked, she winked back, I blew a kiss, she caught it; dropped it on the floor and stamped on it and smiled”. That seriously made my day and while getting off I shook my tic tacs and ass at her. EVERYONE: what would you do if someone winked at you, have you every winked at somebody yourself? What kindoff reactiong have you got?

where can i find a cute laptop case? I'm 18 years old and I'm a senior and I've been trying too look for cute laptop cases. they are all either weird looking,or for women, or for little girls. i want a cute messenger bag(not emo or middle school status) or a cute tote bag that will cover my laptop. oh and no skins. please help :(

Someone stole my bag and it had a laptop in it? I got in a fuss with my woman right after 12;00 on new years left and went partying, now i had my laptop in it and someone stole it. Now she wants to know how it got stolen. I went to a big party and she dont know about it, so now im lying to her about it and shes gonna be pissed about it. I think i have to do a police report what should i do say i was at the party or keep saying i think it got stolen out of my car at home.

Where can I get a good ladies work bag? What brand in UK?? This is my first serious role and I will be travelling to meet staff and clients, Its just no good taking my handbag with all my crap in it, lol. I need a document case maybe bit like a satchel but with option to carry laptop too. Arrgh Like most women I want the perfect bag! Thois may seem like a pointless frivolous question to post sorry but it's doing my head in, I've looked everywhere I can think of but do not know tyhe brands to look for. Think leather bags look smart, any ideas anyone, please!!!!!!

What in the heck justifies a Coach bag costing $1000? Walking through the mall and by this store called Coach. Thought it had something to do with sports but instead found bags made for women. Saw the price tags of some of them ranging from $200 to $1000. Do these bags have some sort of temperature control function or a laptop hidden inside that I didn't see? $1000 for a friggin purse? Justification???

Where can I get a nice Laptop case, bag/briefcase and a leather/leather like backpack? I want the case to be something like this, with the floral print and whatnot. My laptop is about 13.5'L x 9.5'W x 1.2'D http://media.topshop.com/wcsstore/TopSho… and I want a bag that is leather/looks like leather, preferably and basically resembles a purse, or if its nice a women's briefcase would be fine too. It doesn't have to specifically be a laptop case as long as I can use it like that. I also want a nice leather/leather like backpack. Basically one that is more classy and not so jansport because I'm going to have to carry it around EVERYWHERE next year lol. So yeah, I've already checked urbanoutfitters but other suggestions for any of the things I'm looking for would be much appreciated.

What's the male equivalent of a handbag? There is only so much one can shove in their pockets, and anyhow, full pockets don't look smart and simply are often uncomfortable, i.e. you sit down and your phone jabs you in the groin. It would be great to shove all in a bag. Messenger bags are far too big. Maybe you aren't going out and about with your laptop or files of papers for the day. Would you still need to drag around a laptop bag or messenger bag? Wouldn't a smaller bag be good, hey? We need something manly that doesn't have a likeness to a true handbag as touted by millions of women. Some men wouldn't touch a handbag for their wife, let alone themselves. I bet these are the same men who, as soon as they get the car parked on a family trip out anywhere, turn to their wife and say "Honey, can I put my keys in your handbag??" "And my cell phone?" "Will my wallet fit in as well, do you think?"

Where can a get a cool messenger bag? I need one for school,but not one of those big laptop ones. I want it to be a nice size it only has to hold a binder and a folder max. I liked the one on the Hollister Co. site, but everyone goes to Hollister Co. I tried Froogle, but it annoyed me. Could someone post a link to a cool women's messenger bag?

She knocked my laptop on the floor! What would you do? Awhile back I was at the airport, standing in line at the outdoor baggage check-in. My large, bright RED suitcase was standing up with my laptop (secured in a laptop carry case) on top of it. There was a rather errr, ahem, large woman in line next to me. She finished checking her bags and was waving her hands around animatedly talking with her husband. During her apparent excitement her very large rear end bumped REALLY hard into my laptop sending it flying with a loud thud as it landed. She turned around, looked at me standing there with my mouth open, looked down at my laptop, and said woops! and just walked away. No apology, nothing. My suitcase was right next to me! My attention was mildly diverted towards the skycap or I would have grabbed it. I didn't have time at the moment to chase her down and plug the laptop in to see if still worked. Fortunately, it works fine but a large chunk broke off the corner. What would you have done? Figured it was your own fault or chased her down?

Should i get this bag? http://www.marcjacobs.com/#/en-us/marcbymarcjacobs/women/springsummer10/bags?lookId=16 i need a laptop holder will this be ok also i would be grateful if you suggest a nice messenger bag thank you everyone ;)

I have searched high and low for a stylish laptop carrier (for a woman) HELP!!!!? I have a 17" HP dv9810 and I need a bag that is NOT black or that looks like a briefcase. Forget the stores..anything that comes anywhere close to being nice is too small. Online...they are starting to all look alike, I've been on a million websites. The only one I have found that is somewhat nice looking and supposedly fits my laptop is the Belkin Messanger Bag. Does anyone have that bag? What do you think? Or are there any other suggestions out there?

Am I Too Feminine For Most Women? Let me start off by saying that I love women and I consider myself straight and confident. However, I feel that at times, I am too feminine. I don't know if most women would find these qualities desirable in a man or if they would be turned off by them. If you are a woman, please tell me what you think. Would you like me only as a friend or would you consider me a boyfriend- or husband-material? Physically, I am slim, but muscular. I am about 5'9" and weight 140 pounds. I have a rather small baby-face. My shoe size is men's 7.5. My skin is soft as well and many people comment on my soft hands, especially. No one mistakes me for a woman, however. I like to go shopping with my female friends. I don't necessarily buy much for myself, but I just like to look at women's cute fashion and help pick out clothes, shoes, and other articles. I don't mind spending an entire afternoon at the mall. I even carry all the bags for my friends. I also don't mind watching chic flicks. Not only do I watch them with my female friends, but also when I am alone as well. Sometimes, I wear women's apparel that are masculine. For example, I own a pair of American Eagle's Boyfriend Jeans, several Hanes cotton low-rise boyshorts and hipsters with faux fly, and a pair of women's Skechers. They all look masculine enough to not arouse any suspicion from people. I would not go beyond this point and cross dress completely, though. I find pink cell phones, pink laptops, and other feminine-colored gadgets attractive, but I haven't had enough courage to actually own any. When I go in to get a haircut at Supercuts, I like to look through women's magazine. All of the hairdressers like me a lot and talk to me as good friends. Although I have a successful career with a good paying job, I would not mind doing household chores that are traditionally considered to be women's work, such as laundering, ironing, cleaning and vacuuming. All this is not to say that I am perceived to be feminine. To most people, I look, sound, act, and behave like a man. I do enjoy action films, watching some sports, hanging out with male friends, etc. I just feel that once someone gets to really know me, she will see the other side of me. I am afraid that many women will be turned off and I will never find that special someone. I really would love to find a special woman in my life and treat her like a queen. Just adding a little more information and answers to some of the questions I received in the responses: Yes, I do have many male friends, but generally, we don't see each other that often because we are too busy. My male friends and female friends all think I am normal, as I do not expose my feminine side to them. I do not have many women's clothes, except for the few pieces I mentioned above and I only wear them maybe only once or twice a week. I do not like everything pink, but just a few things that look cute in pink. I have been with women, but I never told them about these things. My last relationship lasted a couple of years, but I carried myself "normally" during that time.

Anyone know anything about these American Tourister 'Enchantment' by Samsonite laptop cases? Hey there! I've seen some laptop cases I really like in a couple of stores locally, but try as I might I can't find a website for them to compare prices (the high street is hideously expensive where I live, so I always compare prices before I buy, and just buy it online if it's a lot cheaper, which it usually is!). The labels on them say they are American Tourister by Samsonite, and they come in various styles and colors, of the sort designed to appeal to women around college age. There is a backpack style which is the one I'm interested in, plus an over the shoulder tote and a briefcase with short handles and an optional long strap. I've also seen a rolling suitcase in the same style. I think they're called the Enchantment range, but the only mention I've seen of them online is random pages in price-comparison websites and the like. Like here: http://www.buy.com/prod/american-tourister-enchantment-29-rolling-upright/q/loc/16234/205844045.html (this is the rolling case) http://www.kaboodle.com/reviews/american-tourister-enchantment-boarding-bag (this is the briefcase style with the short handles) Does anyone know more about this line of luggage, like are they still around or have they been discontinued? Anyone have links for a decent store I can get them (preferably with European delivery)? I tried a couple of the ones I found in the shopping sites, but they don't seem to work :-( Any other info on this elusive line would be greatly appreciated, including feedback on whether you liked it if you own a piece! Thanks!

how can i develop this idea? i had a dream where i saw many people dissapearing, like a woman at the fridge putting away milk suddenly disapears, she has dropped the milk, and it splashes to the ground. a busy lecture hall full of students, suddenly is decimated, scores of people have disapeared, leaving bags and laptops and papers clattering to the ground. how can i make this idea into a story? where do i start?

Grad gift? For coworkers daughter? Not even my co-work, my boyfriends. We were invited to Grad's party. What kind of gift and how much to spend? I never met any of these people. $25 gift is in my budget- Ross has some really nice name brand breifcases/bags for women....normally priced $180. But I don't know if she has a laptop or not. I don't know if she's going to college or what. Maybe a $25 target card?

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Where can I find a sturdy, attractive bag that will hold my laptop and my textbooks? I'm having a very difficult time finding a bag I like for my classes this fall. Here's what I'm looking for: - Something feminine, but not girly - I'm a grown woman - Sturdy but not frumpy/cheap looking - Conservative but not dowdy - Must fit a 15.4" Macbook - Preferably under $100. I might be willing to spend a touch more if it's something I really like, but as a student, I'm on a budget. Any suggestions? I'd rather find something in-store as opposed to online. I don't like shopping online - I want to see what I'm going to buy in person. I live in a big city so I can probably get to just about any store if you know of a great bag. Thanks for your help! I've already been to Wal-Mart & Target - just didn't see anything I liked.

What r the things we learn from the movies? 1. At least one of a pair of identical twins is born evil. 2. Should you decide to defuse a bomb, don't worry which wire to cut, You will always choose the right one. 3. Most laptop computers are powerful enough to override the Communications system of any invading alien society. 4. It does not matter if you are heavily outnumbered in a fight Involving martial arts: your enemies will wait patiently to attack you one by one by dancing around in a threatening manner until you have knocked out their predecessors. 5. When you turn out the light to go to bed, everything in your bedroom will still be clearly visible, just slightly bluish. 6. If you are blonde and pretty, it is possible to become a world expert on nuclear fission at the age of 22. 7. All beds have special L-shaped cover sheets that reach the armpit level on a woman but only to waist level on the man lying beside her. 8. All grocery shopping bags contain at least one stick of French bread. 9. It's easy for anyone to land a plane providing there is someone in the control tower to talk you down. 10. Once applied, lipstick will never rub-off - even while scuba diving. 11. You're very likely to survive any battle in any war unless you make the mistake of showing someone a picture of your sweetheart back home. 12. The Eiffel Tower can be seen from any window in Paris. 13. A man will show no pain while taking the most ferocious beating, but will wince when a woman tries to clean his wounds. 14. If a large pane of glass is visible, someone will be thrown through it before long. 15. If staying in a haunted house, women should investigate any strange noises in their most revealing underwear. 16. Even when driving down a perfectly straight road, it is necessary to turn the steering wheel vigorously from left to right every few moments. 17. All bombs are fitted with electronic timing devices with large red readouts so you know exactly when they're going to go off. 18. A detective can only solve a case once he has been suspended from duty. 19. If you decide to start dancing in the street, everyone you meet will know all the steps. If u have learnt other things from the movies , add them :) Leptad yes I 've posted this months before in the movies category to make fun there , but i forgot the funniest category of all ; this one ;)

Could you accidentally send your baby though an x ray machine? A woman going through security at Los Angeles International Airport put her month-old grandson into a plastic bin intended for carry-on items and slid it into an X-ray machine. The early Saturday accident — bizarre but not unprecedented — caught airport workers by surprise, even though the security line was not busy at the time, officials said. A screener watching the machine's monitor immediately noticed the outline of a baby and pulled the bin backward on the conveyor belt. The infant was taken to Centinela Hospital, where doctors determined that he had not received a dangerous dose of radiation. Officials, who declined to release the 56-year-old woman's name, said she spoke Spanish and apparently did not understand English. She initially didn't want the baby transported to a hospital, but security officials called paramedics and insisted that the child be examined by a doctor. The grandmother and the child were subsequently allowed to board an Alaska Airlines flight to Mexico City. The rare incident drew attention to whether officials are staffing often-busy security checkpoints enough to prevent such an accident. And it raised questions about the danger of X-rays used to pick out suspicious metal shapes in passenger bags, given the medical community's warnings that even low amounts of radiation can build up over a lifetime. "Rather than focus on the radiation dose, which is a small amount, we need to focus on why this happened, so it doesn't happen again," said Dr. James Borgstede, a diagnostic radiologist at Penrose-St. Francis Health Systems in Colorado Springs, Colo., and president of the American College of Radiology. "Human beings weren't meant to go through those things." In the several seconds the baby spent in the machine, the doctor added, he was exposed to as much radiation as he would naturally get from cosmic rays — or high energy from outer space — in a day. Security experts said the incident underscored a more widespread concern about the screening process at LAX and other airports. "The screeners are still reporting that they're being pushed," said Brian Sullivan, a retired Federal Aviation Administration security agent. "If a baby can get through, what the hell else can get through?" Nico Melendez, a spokesman for the Transportation Security Administration, which manages LAX screeners, said the agency doesn't have enough workers to constantly stand at tables in front of the screeners to coach passengers on what should or should not be sent through X-ray machines. But in some cases, airlines contract with private companies to staff the tables and assist travelers. The TSA will also occasionally put employees at the tables if extra workers are available. TSA screeners often ask passengers to put their coats, shoes, laptops and other items into the bins, Melendez said. But they cannot observe everything people place there, because they must monitor screening equipment, he added. Still, he said that the TSA works hard to educate passengers about what carry-on objects require screening and that travelers must take responsibility for knowing these rules. "There's an obligation on the traveler to use some common sense," said Larry Fetters, the TSA's federal security director at LAX. "If they don't understand, they should ask somebody. If they ask us, we are generally able to find someone who speaks that language and assist them." On its website, the TSA posts extensive tips for travelers, including a section titled "Traveling With Children." One item reads: "Never leave babies in an infant carrier while it goes through the X-ray machine." There are also signs posted in English and Spanish at ticket counters and near security checkpoints warning passengers that they must put metal objects, such as cellphones, pagers and car keys, into bins that go through X-ray machines.

How do I go about triangulating the location of my cell phone? (POTENTIAL $260 USD REWARD IF FOUND)? If you don't want to hear the story skip to the stars. But I must say I find it slightly entertaining. At 9:56 AM on 12-20-09 (Saturday) in Cancun, Mexico, my father picked up my laptop bag in the Westin Laguna Mar hotel lobby to load it into the taxi outside. There were two other vans and one other taxi in front of the hotel. We had just checked out. Before the taxi arrived, I had ran up to the room to grab something, and when I returned, my parents were waiting for me in the Taxi. We then road in the taxi cab to the Gran Melia hotel down the street. When we arrived at the hotel, we unloaded our luggage, and my laptop bag was missing. Before the taxi could leave, I ran up and tapped on the window. I got in after making sure the bag was not in the taxi or its trunk. Me and the driver drove back to the Westin. I then checked the outside port. The bag was not there. The bag was nowhere in the lobby. The bag was not in the room, the elevators, or the luggage storage area. I then asked to see the security tapes. The tapes showed my father carry the bag outside, but there were no tapes showing the taxi port where the bag would have been stolen or left. So we know the bag made it out of the lobby. The tapes also showed my father picking up the bag at 9:56, and me returning to the lobby at 10:16. So we know the bag was taken in that exact time frame. We then got the list of the taxis that were there when we were. We checked with the driver of the first taxi. He and the woman he was driving confirmed they did not pick up the bag. So it must have been one of the vans. We called on van, and the driver said he had not seen the bag. The other van was never contacted. We also know that it was left at the front of the Westin. The first taxi driver confirmed this. So we know it was not misplaced when we arrived at the Melia. That was as far as we could go with the vans. The security at the Westin is in the process of contacting all of the guests that left when we did via e-mail. So it is possible that one of the tourists in the vans had taken the bag my accident, as the bell hop boys load the vans for the guests and any luggage nearby. If this is the case, it is most likely that the luggage is at the airport security terminal, as that is where we know the taxi and first van were heading. The whereabouts of the last van are unknown. It is also possible that they checked the bag somehow. In which case they will soon find out that it is not theirs and turn it in to another airport security station. Aside from this, we also filed a police report at the local police station. But that will probably run cold. The most reliable hope I have at this point is cell phone triangulation, and in case you are wondering, here's why I'm willing to pay about $1000 dollars to anyone who actually sends me the bag. It contained: 1 HP Pavillion Laptop with Windows Vista 1 iPod Nano (4GB) with a pink rubber case 1 pair of Skull Candy headphones 1 Ethernet Cable 1 Charger Set for the laptop 1 External Hard Drive (160GB) with USB cable 1 USB Drive (2GB) 1 EnV3 Motorolla Cellphone with Verizon Wireless 1 Wallet with $25 cash, my driver's license, a $25 Keeva Kash card, two other empty cash cards, my student ID, and my debit card (It's a really nice wallet, too) 1 Pair of Oakley Sunglasses 1 YoYo/Top 1 Paper Notebook 1 Green folder with thank you cards 1 Book by TZ Lavine (Socrates to Sartre) 1 Book by Harry G. Frankfurt (On Bullshit) 1 Book on Cognitive science 1 5lb Grip Strength Trainer 1 Pentago Board Game 1 YoYo 1 Hackie Sack And probably other things I'm forgetting. Far more than the things themselves, I am a writer and thinker, and some of my most cherished ideas and thoughts and songs and poems are stored in files on both the hard drive and laptop. Those are worth far more to me than anything else. My phone contacts, too. It's a pain in the ass to have to get those back, as I am 17, and many of my friends are now aloof in colleges across the nation. So I'm willing to pay far more than $260 USD for my stuff, but that is all I have in my bank account right now, so that is all I can promise. So far, I can't blame anyone. My dad and mom were just in a hurry, and didn't think about it. And the drivers or luggage loaders at the hotel probably just got confused in all of the chaos. And maybe some tourists checked it in at the airport security even though we contacted them and let them know everything. And yes, it is possible the hotel security is lieing or the cab drivers are lieing or the van driver or tourists are just nasty thieves. It looks... not really bleak, but not too bright either. There's room to be an optimist still. *** So now, at this point, my best bet is probably to figure some way to triangulate the location of my phone in my bag to find where it is at. I have Verizon, and they say I can't do it. Also the police here say it is very complicated with all of the legalities involved in me being a t ourist. We'll see. UPDATE The phone seems to be on and working. I can call and get the full ring back tone until the voice message. Also, there have been no calls made from the phone or messages or data sent since after it was lost along with the other items. There have been no charges to the card either. Both show up to date information from Mexico. So it seems like they're just sitting somewhere. I sent several messages to the phone with reward information and contact info. So maybe. And my card is safe, I transferred my money. I also backed up most of the information on the computer previously. But all new information seems lost. I also told everyone who would have had it about the reward.

what do you think of this essay? This was something I wrote when I was 13 for an essay about how someone can change your life dramatically. I just found it saved on my computer and I'm quite impressed seeing how young I was. In the dim light, Kara Leigh went to the window. Her auburn hair lay unkempt on her shoulders but you would not notice because her enthralling beryl-green eyes captured you at first glance. Trembling she peered through the blinds. The wind from the mountains pressed its chilly tendrils against the pane of glass, making it bow slightly. This silent reassurance was all the comfort she needed. Calmed, but not yet willing to return to bed Kara put on her black silk robe and headed towards the kitchen. The cobblestone floor and distressed cabinets were all the more welcoming now that a pot of water sat boiling on the stove. Kara walked to the pantry and retrieved a canister of her favorite herbal tea and a jar of her grandmother’s honey. She set the tea to steep and hopped onto the concrete counter. She had an air of elegance abound her, even in this distressed state. Her thoughts raced through her mind about yesterday evening’s occurrence. Kara and her best friend, Tina, were at the carnival when Tina got the idea to visit a fortune teller. Tina was told that love would soon appear in the most unexpected places and she should expect advances in her career. A very uplifting reading. When Kara walked in, however, the mood was very different. The air was heavy around her and the pungent scent of sandalwood invaded the cramped tent. A plump older woman dressed in black and perse, smiled and welcomed her to take a seat on the opposite cushion. Kara did this, and placed her hands palm up on the table in front of her. “When the wind is still in the mountains and the sun fails to rise on time, be wary of a pale rider, upon his pale horse.” The fortune teller looked up and Kara briefly caught a glimpse of fear in her eyes. Kara went home in a daze. The timer beside her went off signaling her tea was ready, but she was too preoccupied to drink it now. Could this possibly be true? Or was this just a hoax? Kara suspected the latter, but somewhere deep in her subconscious she was frightened. Only after a few moments of silence did she put two and two together. In two weeks the winter solstice would arrive, bringing with it the longest night of the year. The sun would not rise at its usual time. Fear constricted Kara’s throat and it suddenly became difficult for her to breathe. Too anxious to go back to bed, Kara took a few sips of her tea. It was only two hours until she would normally get up anyway. Kara brushed a few strands of her hair out of her face and maneuvered her laptop bag in front of her as she stepped through the elevator doors. Just three floors until she could settle into the office that she and Tina shared. She would finally be able to confront Tina about the other night’s occurrence. All went well for the first few hours as Tina and Kara work on developing a new level in the new horror game they were developing; ‘Sylan’s crystals”. Shortly after two o’clock Tina was called into the boss’s office. She was to be mentoring the new intern Greg. Kara’s thoughts immediately jumped to what the Fortune teller had said, “[Tina] should expect advances in her career”. Mentors get a bonus for every week they work with an intern. Kara brushed it off as merely a coincidence until later that week. Greg had been hired for a rival company, and Kara received a call from Tina. Tina and Greg had been on a date and hit it off smashingly. This quick conversation concluded with well wishes and a sigh as Kara remembered the rest of the fortune teller’s predictions for Tina. Kara was feeling rather overwhelmed with this whole predicament. Should she write a will? No, she was just taking things way out of proportion. Or should she be cautious anyway. Kara decided that the best thing to do was to jot down on a piece of paper that she wished for her body to be donated to science. She signed, dated, and stuck the piece of paper in her wallet. The days grew dimmer for Kara as the nights grew colder. All that she could hope for is that the wind would be blowing on the solstice. Three hours until the sun would set on winter solstice. Kara paced back and forth impatiently for the majority of this time. She occasionally glanced at the trees in the near distance and saw that they swayed lightly in the breeze. Good she thought as she settled into her favorite arm chair to read the latest issue of Instyle. There was no need to worry in the first place; the old woman was just a carnival fortune teller. Did Kara even believe in those kinds of things anyway? About fifteen minutes until pitch black, Kara stood up and stretched. She turned to television on with a flick of the remote and tuned into the news. She strutted over to the large bay window and noticed that the trees no longer danced delightfully. In fact, not even the slightest breeze was blowing. Kara began to grow faint, as the blood rushed from her head. A haze of gray flooded Kara’s vision and she collapsed to the floor in a fit of convulsions. Anibus, the god of death, loomed ever near, and slowly, the crimson river from Kara’s skull grew and stretched onto the living room floor. Outside the wind grew and the leaves bristled on the trees. It was irrational fear that took the life of Kara Leigh that night. Vulnerable and impressionable in her thoughts she caused herself to become ill by the mere suggestion of a stranger. The fortune teller had a fatal impact on her life as a result few seconds of a one-sided conversation.

what r the things we learn from the movies? 1. At least one of a pair of identical twins is born evil. 2. Should you decide to defuse a bomb, don't worry which wire to cut, You will always choose the right one. 3. Most laptop computers are powerful enough to override the Communications system of any invading alien society. 4. It does not matter if you are heavily outnumbered in a fight Involving martial arts: your enemies will wait patiently to attack you one by one by dancing around in a threatening manner until you have knocked out their predecessors. 5. When you turn out the light to go to bed, everything in your bedroom will still be clearly visible, just slightly bluish. 6. If you are blonde and pretty, it is possible to become a world expert on nuclear fission at the age of 22. 7. All beds have special L-shaped cover sheets that reach the armpit level on a woman but only to waist level on the man lying beside her. 8. All grocery shopping bags contain at least one stick of French bread. 9. It's easy for anyone to land a plane providing there is someone in the control tower to talk you down. 10. Once applied, lipstick will never rub-off - even while scuba diving. 11. You're very likely to survive any battle in any war unless you make the mistake of showing someone a picture of your sweetheart back home. 12. The Eiffel Tower can be seen from any window in Paris. 13. A man will show no pain while taking the most ferocious beating, but will wince when a woman tries to clean his wounds. 14. If a large pane of glass is visible, someone will be thrown through it before long. 15. If staying in a haunted house, women should investigate any strange noises in their most revealing underwear. 16. Even when driving down a perfectly straight road, it is necessary to turn the steering wheel vigorously from left to right every few moments. 17. All bombs are fitted with electronic timing devices with large red readouts so you know exactly when they're going to go off. 18. A detective can only solve a case once he has been suspended from duty. 19. If you decide to start dancing in the street, everyone you meet will know all the steps. If any of u have learnt another things just add it ;)

Does a handbag count as handluggage? Checking hand luggage allowances on flights I notice that usually only one item is allowed. Does this include a woman's handbag/shoulder bag? I believe in the US this is called a purse. I'm talking something about the size of 3/4 of a laptop screen, width n height, 1/3 width of a laptop screen deep. (Just used those dimensions cause its difficult sometimes to visualise cms!) Thank you for your help.

some facts i've learnt from watching movies - do you like? Hollywood Lessons: 1. It does not matter if you are heavily outnumbered in a fight involving martial arts: your enemies will wait patiently to attack you one by one, dancing around in a threatening manner until you have knocked out their predecessors. 2. Honest and hard-working policemen are traditionally gunned down three days before their retirement. 3. All beds have special L-shaped sheets that reach the armpit level of a woman, but only the waist level of the man lying beside her. 4. At least one of a pair of identical twins is born evil. 5. Most laptop computers are powerful enough to override the communications system of any invading alien society. 6. All grocery bags contain at least one stick of French bread. 7. Rather than wasting bullets, megalomaniacs prefer to kill their arch enemies using complicated machinery involving fuses, pulley systems, deadly gasses, lasers, and man-eating sharks, which will allow their captives at least a half-hour to escape. 8. You're very likely to survive any battle in any war unless you make the mistake of showing someone a picture of your sweetheart back home. 9. A man will show no pain while taking the most ferocious beating, but will wince when a woman tries to clean his wounds. 10. If a large pane of glass is visible, someone will be thrown through it before long. 11. If staying in a haunted house, women should investigate any strange noises in their most revealing underwear. 12. Even when driving down a perfectly straight road, it is necessary to turn the steering wheel vigorously from left to right every few moments. 13. All bombs are fitted with electronic timing devices with large red readouts so you know exactly when they're going to go off, but luckily you'll always blindly choose to cut the right wire. 14. A detective can only solve a case once he has been suspended from duty. 15. Police departments give their officers personality tests to make sure they are deliberately assigned a partner who is their total opposite.

how can i be more social after school? okay. im 16 im the funny clown popular guy in school. but im really fat. at school im like a king i talk to girls more then blokes, i constantly talk, but after school i never do anything i just sit around with my tv and laptop. i dunno why im really unsocial outside of school, and i have no idea why, and i REALLY like this girl she knows but i can talk freely and confident on msn and facebook but to someones face ill just be all awkarad and weried and i dont know why, im not a sleaze or anything im not looking for sex or anything, i really have respect for women i never bag them or anything, and id never hit one, i just need advice on how to clear all of this weirednesss,

i need help finding this picture?? ok so I am going to be making like sewing a really cute tote bag to put my laptop in and I wanted to put like a picture on it, but I cant find the picture! like I saw it on the internet and now I cant find it, so can you help me? the picture is sketched, its not a real picture, just drawn up and it has two women in it, I think theyre in paris, and they have really cute outfits on and are sitting across from each other around a small black table and then theres an umbrella over the table.....please help! thanks so much <3 oh and I think that the outfits are dresses, but i cant remember, and I think they might have been wearing really pretty hats

Something from the movies...? 26 Things the Movies Taught You... 1) Large, loft-style apartments in New York City are well within the price range of most people--whether they are employed or not. 2) At least one of a pair of identical twins is born evil. 3) Should you decide to defuse a bomb, don't worry which wire to cut. You will always choose the right one. 4) Most laptop computers are powerful enough to override the communications system of any invading alien society. 5) It does not matter if you are heavily outnumbered in a fight involving martial arts: your enemies will wait patiently to attack you one by one by dancing around in a threatening manner until you have knocked out their predecessors. 6) When you turn out the light to go to bed, everything in your bedroom will still be clearly visible, just slightly bluish. 7) If you are blonde and pretty, it is possible to become a world expert on nuclear fission at the age of 22. 8) Honest and hard-working policemen are traditionally gunned down three days before their retirement. 9) Rather than wasting bullets, megalomaniacs prefer to kill their arch enemies using complicated machinery involving fuses, pulley systems, deadly gasses, lasers and man-eating sharks, which will allow their captives at least 20 minutes to escape. 10) All beds have special L-shaped cover sheets that reach the armpit level on a woman, but only to waist level on the man lying beside her. 11) All grocery shopping bags contain at least one stick of French bread. 12) It's easy for anyone to land a plane, providing there is someone in the control tower to talk you down. 13) Once applied, lipstick will never rub off--even while scuba diving. 14) You're very likely to survive any battle in any war unless you make the mistake of showing someone a picture of your sweetheart back home. 15) Should you wish to pass yourself off as a German or Russian officer, it will not be necessary to speak the language. A German or Russian accent will do. 16) The Eiffel Tower can be seen from any window in Paris. 17) A man will show no pain while taking the most ferocious beating, but will wince when a woman tries to clean his wounds. 18) If a large pane of glass is visible, someone will be thrown through it before long. 19) If staying in a haunted house, women should investigate any strange noises in their most revealing underwear. 20) Word processors never display a cursor on screen but will always say: “Enter Password Now.” 21) Even when driving down a perfectly straight road, it is necessary to turn the steering wheel vigorously from left to right every few moments. 22) All bombs are fitted with electronic timing devices with large red readouts so you know exactly when they're going to go off. 23) A detective can only solve a case once he has been suspended from duty. 24) If you decide to start dancing in the street, everyone you meet will know all the steps. 25) Police departments give their officers personality tests to make sure they are deliberately assigned a partner who is their total opposite. 26) When they are alone, all foreign military officers prefer to speak to each other in English.

26 things the movies teach us? 26 Things the Movies Taught You... 1) Large, loft-style apartments in New York City are well within the price range of most people--whether they are employed or not. 2) At least one of a pair of identical twins is born evil. 3) Should you decide to defuse a bomb, don't worry which wire to cut. You will always choose the right one. 4) Most laptop computers are powerful enough to override the communications system of any invading alien society. 5) It does not matter if you are heavily outnumbered in a fight involving martial arts: your enemies will wait patiently to attack you one by one by dancing around in a threatening manner until you have knocked out their predecessors. 6) When you turn out the light to go to bed, everything in your bedroom will still be clearly visible, just slightly bluish. 7) If you are blonde and pretty, it is possible to become a world expert on nuclear fission at the age of 22. 8) Honest and hard-working policemen are traditionally gunned down three days before their retirement. 9) Rather than wasting bullets, megalomaniacs prefer to kill their arch enemies using complicated machinery involving fuses, pulley systems, deadly gasses, lasers and man-eating sharks, which will allow their captives at least 20 minutes to escape. 10) All beds have special L-shaped cover sheets that reach the armpit level on a woman, but only to waist level on the man lying beside her. 11) All grocery shopping bags contain at least one stick of French bread. 12) It's easy for anyone to land a plane, providing there is someone in the control tower to talk you down. 13) Once applied, lipstick will never rub off--even while scuba diving. 14) You're very likely to survive any battle in any war unless you make the mistake of showing someone a picture of your sweetheart back home. 15) Should you wish to pass yourself off as a German or Russian officer, it will not be necessary to speak the language. A German or Russian accent will do. 16) The Eiffel Tower can be seen from any window in Paris. 17) A man will show no pain while taking the most ferocious beating, but will wince when a woman tries to clean his wounds. 18) If a large pane of glass is visible, someone will be thrown through it before long. 19) If staying in a haunted house, women should investigate any strange noises in their most revealing underwear. 20) Word processors never display a cursor on screen but will always say: “Enter Password Now.” 21) Even when driving down a perfectly straight road, it is necessary to turn the steering wheel vigorously from left to right every few moments. 22) All bombs are fitted with electronic timing devices with large red readouts so you know exactly when they're going to go off. 23) A detective can only solve a case once he has been suspended from duty. 24) If you decide to start dancing in the street, everyone you meet will know all the steps. 25) Police departments give their officers personality tests to make sure they are deliberately assigned a partner who is their total opposite. 26) When they are alone, all foreign military officers prefer to speak to each other in English.

hollwood,rate this? Hollywood Lessons 1. It does not matter if you are heavily outnumbered in a fight involving martial arts: your enemies will wait patiently to attack you one by one, dancing around in a threatening manner until you have knocked out their predecessors. 2. Honest and hard-working policemen are traditionally gunned down three days before their retirement. 3. All beds have special L-shaped sheets that reach the armpit level of a woman, but only the waist level of the man lying beside her. 4. At least one of a pair of identical twins is born evil. 5. Most laptop computers are powerful enough to override the communications system of any invading alien society. 6. All grocery bags contain at least one stick of French bread. 7. Rather than wasting bullets, megalomaniacs prefer to kill their arch enemies using complicated machinery involving fuses, pulley systems, deadly gasses, lasers, and man-eating sharks, which will allow their captives at least a half-hour to escape. 8. You're very likely to survive any battle in any war unless you make the mistake of showing someone a picture of your sweetheart back home. 9. A man will show no pain while taking the most ferocious beating, but will wince when a woman tries to clean his wounds. 10. If a large pane of glass is visible, someone will be thrown through it before long. 11. If staying in a haunted house, women should investigate any strange noises in their most revealing underwear. 12. Even when driving down a perfectly straight road, it is necessary to turn the steering wheel vigorously from left to right every few moments. 13. All bombs are fitted with electronic timing devices with large red readouts so you know exactly when they're going to go off, but luckily you'll always blindly choose to cut the right wire. 14. A detective can only solve a case once he has been suspended from duty. 15. Police departments give their officers personality tests to make sure they are deliberately assigned a partner who is their total opposite. South Park Haters... Q: What county in Ireland hates Kenny? A: Killkenny County

What should i put in my Purse? I have a Happy Bunny Bag but it is an open bag. It has velcro to close it just a bit but it is still open. Here's what i take to school: Laptop (High school issued them) Charger Hand Sanitizer Snacks Bottled Drink Pen Pencil Notebook What else should i take? I put this in the Women's Section because you are all Women and know what to put in a purse. Thanks! Hahah Okay i am not Dumb i am not going to take a knife to school

Rules For Life On The Silver Screen :-)? During all police investigations it will be necessary to visit a strip club at least once. All telephone numbers in America begin with the digits 555. Most dogs are immortal. If being chased through town, you can usually take cover in a passing St. Patrick's Day parade - at any time of the year. All beds have special L-shaped cover sheets which reach up to the armpit level on a woman but only to waist level on the man lying beside her. All grocery shopping bags contain at least one stick of French Bread. It's easy for anyone to land a plane providing there is someone in the control tower to talk you down. Once applied, lipstick will never rub off - even while scuba diving. The ventilation system of any building is the perfect hiding place. No-one will ever think of looking for you in there and you can travel to any other part of the building you wish without difficulty. If you need to reload your gun, you will always have more ammunition - even if you haven't been carrying any before now. You're very likely to survive any battle in any war unless you make the mistake of showing someone a picture of your sweetheart back home. Should you wish to pass yourself off as a German officer, it will not be necessary to speak the language. A German accent will do. If your town is threatened by an imminent natural disaster or killer beast, the mayor's first concern will be the tourist trade or his forthcoming art exhibition. The Eiffel Tower can be seen from any window in Paris. A man will show no pain while taking the most ferocious beating but will wince when a woman tries to clean his wounds. If a large pane of glass is visible, someone will be thrown through it before long. The Chief of Police is always black. When paying for a taxi, don't look at your wallet as you take out a bill - just grab one at random and hand it over. It will always be the exact fare. Interbreeding is genetically possible with any creature from elsewhere in the universe. Kitchens don't have light switches. When entering a kitchen at night, you should open the fridge door and use that light instead. If staying in a haunted house, women should investigate any strange noises in their most revealing underwear. Word processors never display a cursor on screen but will always say: Enter Password Now. Mothers routinely cook eggs, bacon and waffles for their family every morning even though their husband and children never have time to eat it. Cars that crash will almost always burst into flames. The Chief of Police will always suspend his star detective - or give him 48 hours to finish the job. A single match will be sufficient to light up a room the size of RFK Stadium. Medieval peasants had perfect teeth. Although in the 20th century it is possible to fire weapons at an object out of our visual range, people of the 23rd century will have lost this technology. Any person waking from a nightmare will sit bolt upright and pant. It is not necessary to say hello or goodbye when beginning or ending phone conversations. Even when driving down a perfectly straight road it is necessary to turn the steering wheel vigorously from left to right every few moments. All bombs are fitted with electronic timing devices with large red readouts so you know exactly when they're going to go off. It is always possible to park directly outside the building you are visiting. A detective can only solve a case once he has been suspended from duty. If you decide to start dancing in the street, everyone you bump into will know all the steps. Most laptop computers are powerful enough to override the communication systems of any invading alien civilization. It does not matter if you are heavily outnumbered in a fight involving martial arts - your enemies will wait patiently to attack you one by one by dancing around in a threatening manner until you have knocked out their predecessors. When a person is knocked unconscious by a blow to the head, they will never suffer a concussion or brain damage. No-one involved in a car chase, hijacking, explosion, volcanic eruption or alien invasion will ever go into shock. Police Departments give their officers personality tests to make sure they are deliberately assigned a partner who is their total opposite. When they are alone, all foreigners prefer to speak English to each other. You can always find a chainsaw when you need one. Any lock can be picked by a credit card or a paper clip in seconds - unless it's the door to a burning building with a child trapped inside. An electric fence, powerful enough to kill a dinosaur will cause no lasting damage to an eight year old child. Television news bulletins usually contain a story that affects you personally at that precise moment."

Things we learn from movies (:? 1) Large, loft-style apartments in New York City are well within the price range of most people--whether they are employed or not. 2) At least one of a pair of identical twins is born evil. 3) Should you decide to defuse a bomb, don't worry which wire to cut. You will always choose the right one. 4) Most laptop computers are powerful enough to override the communications system of any invading alien society. 5) It does not matter if you are heavily outnumbered in a fight involving martial arts: your enemies will wait patiently to attack you one by one by dancing around in a threatening manner until you have knocked out their predecessors. 6) When you turn out the light to go to bed, everything in your bedroom will still be clearly visible, just slightly bluish. 7) If you are blonde and pretty, it is possible to become a world expert on nuclear fission at the age of 22. 8) Honest and hard-working policemen are traditionally gunned down three days before their retirement. 9) Rather than wasting bullets, megalomaniacs prefer to kill their arch enemies using complicated machinery involving fuses, pulley systems, deadly gasses, lasers and man-eating sharks, which will allow their captives at least 20 minutes to escape. 10) All beds have special L-shaped cover sheets that reach the armpit level on a woman, but only to waist level on the man lying beside her. 11) All grocery shopping bags contain at least one stick of French bread. 12) It's easy for anyone to land a plane, providing there is someone in the control tower to talk you down. 13) Once applied, lipstick will never rub off--even while scuba diving. 14) You're very likely to survive any battle in any war unless you make the mistake of showing someone a picture of your sweetheart back home. 15) Should you wish to pass yourself off as a German or Russian officer, it will not be necessary to speak the language. A German or Russian accent will do. 16) The Eiffel Tower can be seen from any window in Paris . 17) A man will show no pain while taking the most ferocious beating, but will wince when a woman tries to clean his wounds. 18) If a large pane of glass is visible, someone will be thrown through it before long. 19) If staying in a haunted house, women should investigate any strange noises in their most revealing underwear. 20) Word processors never display a cursor on screen but will always say: “Enter Password Now.” 21) Even when driving down a perfectly straight road, it is necessary to turn the steering wheel vigorously from left to right every few moments. 22) All bombs are fitted with electronic timing devices with large red readouts so you know exactly when they're going to go off. 23) A detective can only solve a case once he has been suspended from duty. 24) If you decide to start dancing in the street, everyone you meet will know all the steps. 25) Police departments give their officers personality tests to make sure they are deliberately assigned a partner who is their total opposite. 26) When they are alone, all foreign military officers prefer to speak to each other in English. 27) A car door is perfect to shield yourself from bullets.

What has watching the movies ever taught you? 1) Large, loft-style apartments in New York City are well within the price range of most people--whether they are employed or not. 2) At least one of a pair of identical twins is born evil. 3) Should you decide to defuse a bomb, don't worry which wire to cut. You will always choose the right one. 4) Most laptop computers are powerful enough to override the communications system of any invading alien society. 5) It does not matter if you are heavily outnumbered in a fight involving martial arts: your enemies will wait patiently to attack you one by one by dancing around in a threatening manner until you have knocked out their predecessors. 6) When you turn out the light to go to bed, everything in your bedroom will still be clearly visible, just slightly bluish. 7) If you are blonde and pretty, it is possible to become a world expert on nuclear fission at the age of 22. 8) Honest and hard-working policemen are traditionally gunned down three days before their retirement. 9) Rather than wasting bullets, megalomaniacs prefer to kill their arch enemies using complicated machinery involving fuses, pulley systems, deadly gasses, lasers and man-eating sharks, which will allow their captives at least 20 minutes to escape. 10) All beds have special L-shaped cover sheets that reach the armpit level on a woman, but only to waist level on the man lying beside her. 11) All grocery shopping bags contain at least one stick of French bread. 12) It's easy for anyone to land a plane, providing there is someone in the control tower to talk you down. 13) Once applied, lipstick will never rub off--even while scuba diving. 14) You're very likely to survive any battle in any war unless you make the mistake of showing someone a picture of your sweetheart back home. 15) Should you wish to pass yourself off as a German or Russian officer, it will not be necessary to speak the language. A German or Russian accent will do. 16) The Eiffel Tower can be seen from any window in Paris . 17) A man will show no pain while taking the most ferocious beating, but will wince when a woman tries to clean his wounds. 18) If a large pane of glass is visible, someone will be thrown through it before long. 19) If staying in a haunted house, women should investigate any strange noises in their most revealing underwear. 20) Word processors never display a cursor on screen but will always say: “Enter Password Now.” 21) Even when driving down a perfectly straight road, it is necessary to turn the steering wheel vigorously from left to right every few moments. 22) All bombs are fitted with electronic timing devices with large red readouts so you know exactly when they're going to go off. 23) A detective can only solve a case once he has been suspended from duty. 24) If you decide to start dancing in the street, everyone you meet will know all the steps. 25) Police departments give their officers personality tests to make sure they are deliberately assigned a partner who is their total opposite. 26) When they are alone, all foreign military officers prefer to speak to each other in English. 27) A car door is perfect to shield yourself from bullets.

isnt this strange but true ?? Scenes From the Movies 1. Large, loft-style apartments in New York City are well within the price range of most people--whether they are employed or not. 2. At least one of a pair of identical twins is born evil. 3. Should you decide to defuse a bomb, don't worry which wire to cut. You will always choose the right one. 4. Most laptop computers are powerful enough to override the communications system of any invading alien society. 5. It does not matter if you are heavily outnumbered in a fight involving martial arts: your enemies will wait patiently to attack you one by one by dancing around in a threatening manner until you have knocked out their predecessors. 6. When you turn out the light to go to bed, everything in your bedroom will still be clearly visible, just slightly bluish. 7. If you are blonde and pretty, it is possible to become a world expert on nuclear fission at the age of 22. 8. Honest and hard working policemen are traditionally gunned down three days before their retirement. 9. Rather than wasting bullets, megalomaniacs prefer to kill their arch enemies using complicated machinery involving fuses, pulley systems, deadly gasses, lasers, and man-eating sharks, which will allow their captives at least 20 minutes to escape. 10. All beds have special L-shaped cover sheets that reach the armpit level on a woman but only to waist level on the man lying beside her. 11. All grocery shopping bags contain at least one stick of French bread. 12. It's easy for anyone to land a plane providing there is someone in the control tower to talk you down. 13. Once applied, lipstick will never rub off--even while scuba diving. 14. You're very likely to survive any battle in any war unless you make the mistake of showing someone a picture of your sweetheart back home. 15. Should you wish to pass yourself off as a German or Russian officer, it will not be necessary to speak the language. A German or Russian accent will do. 16. The Eiffel Tower can be seen from any window in Paris. 17. A man will show no pain while taking the most ferocious beating, but will wince when a woman tries to clean his wounds. 18. If a large pane of glass is visible, someone will be thrown through it before long. 19. If staying in a haunted house, women should investigate any strange noises in their most revealing underwear. 20. All bombs are fitted with electronic timing devices with large red readouts so you know exactly when they're going to go off. 21. American cars always blow up PLEASE STAR IF YOU LIKED IT……..

Question! Do you agree these are the things you learn from films? 1. At least one of a pair of identical twins is born evil. 2. Should you decide to defuse a bomb, don't worry which wire to cut. You will always choose the right one. 3. Most laptop computers are powerful enough to deflect alien invasions.. 4. It does not matter if you are heavily outnumbered in a fight involving martial arts; your enemies will wait patiently to attack you one by one by dancing around in a threatening manner until you have defeated the predecessor. 5. When you turn off the light to go to bed, everything in your bedroom will be clearly visible, just slightly bluish. 6. If you are blonde and pretty, it is possible to become a world expert on nuclear fission at the age of 22. 7. All beds have special L-shaped cover sheets that reach the armpit level on a woman but only to waist level on the man lying beside her. 8. All grocery shopping bags contain at least one stick of French bread. 9. It is easy for anyone to land a plane providing there is someone in the control tower to talk you down. 10. Once applied, lipstick will never rub off-even while scuba diving. 11. You're very likely to survive any battle in any war unless you make a mistake of showing someone a picture of your sweetheart back home. 12. Should you wish to pass yourself off as a German or Russian officer, it will not be necessary to speak the language. A German or Russian accent will do. 13. The Eiffel Tower can be seen from any window in Paris. 14. A man will show no pain while taking the most ferocious beating, but will wince when a woman tries to clean his wounds. 15. If a large pane of glass is visible, someone will be thrown through it before long. 16. If staying in a haunted house, women should investigate any strange noise in the dark and in their most revealing underwear. 17. Even driving down a perfectly straight road, it is necessary to turn the steering wheel vigorously from left to right every few moments. 18. All bombs are fitted with electronic timing devices with large red readouts so you know exactly when they're going to go off. 19. A detective can only solve a case once he has been suspended from duty. 20. If you decide to start dancing in the street everyone you meet will know all the steps.

26 things the movies taught us!!? 1) Large, loft-style apartments in New York City are well within the price range of most people--whether they are employed or not. 2) At least one of a pair of identical twins is born evil. 3) Should you decide to defuse a bomb, don't worry which wire to cut. You will always choose the right one. 4) Most laptop computers are powerful enough to override the communications system of any invading alien society. 5) It does not matter if you are heavily outnumbered in a fight involving martial arts: your enemies will wait patiently to attack you one by one by dancing around in a threatening manner until you have knocked out their predecessors. 6) When you turn out the light to go to bed, everything in your bedroom will still be clearly visible, just slightly bluish. 7) If you are blonde and pretty, it is possible to become a world expert on nuclear fission at the age of 22. 8) Honest and hard-working policemen are traditionally gunned down three days before their retirement. 9) Rather than wasting bullets, megalomaniacs prefer to kill their arch enemies using complicated machinery involving fuses, pulley systems, deadly gasses, lasers and man-eating sharks, which will allow their captives at least 20 minutes to escape. 10) All beds have special L-shaped cover sheets that reach the armpit level on a woman, but only to waist level on the man lying beside her. 11) All grocery shopping bags contain at least one stick of French bread. 12) It's easy for anyone to land a plane, providing there is someone in the control tower to talk you down. 13) Once applied, lipstick will never rub off--even while scuba diving. 14) You're very likely to survive any battle in any war unless you make the mistake of showing someone a picture of your sweetheart back home. 15) Should you wish to pass yourself off as a German or Russian officer, it will not be necessary to speak the language. A German or Russian accent will do. 16) The Eiffel Tower can be seen from any window in Paris. 17) A man will show no pain while taking the most ferocious beating, but will wince when a woman tries to clean his wounds. 18) If a large pane of glass is visible, someone will be thrown through it before long. 19) If staying in a haunted house, women should investigate any strange noises in their most revealing underwear. 20) Word processors never display a cursor on screen but will always say: “Enter Password Now.” 21) Even when driving down a perfectly straight road, it is necessary to turn the steering wheel vigorously from left to right every few moments. 22) All bombs are fitted with electronic timing devices with large red readouts so you know exactly when they're going to go off. 23) A detective can only solve a case once he has been suspended from duty. 24) If you decide to start dancing in the street, everyone you meet will know all the steps. 25) Police departments give their officers personality tests to make sure they are deliberately assigned a partner who is their total opposite. 26) When they are alone, all foreign military officers prefer to speak to each other in English

What does my dream Mean? so, today I wanna talk about my recent dream I had. It's very weird and fun. So, if you have nothing to do, it's best if you read this..thanks. So, i remember everything in detail and I'm gonna explain everything...how it started all the way to how it ended. (the beginning) My character wakes up in the floor next to the big stairs in my high school that takes you to the top building. I get up and I begin walking around when all of a sudden i see my mom. I asked what had happened and everyone told me that the entire world (the human race), was under a huge virus outbreak and that the infected turned into flesh eating zombies. I soon (somehow) end up in my Biology classroom with no one in it. It was dark in there and there was a lot of mess, almost as if people were running all over the place with papers flying everywhere. That's were I meet my two friends (Valeria and Gianella). As I look outside rain begins to pour down hard and everyone (high school students + teachers + some other random people) begin to grab their stuff and continue to run. The sky turned so gray that it look like the moon was covering the sun and the clouds had taken over the sunshine. I asked my friends (the twins) what everyone was doing in Loara High School. They had told me that Loara was an evacuation area for the residents of Anaheim. (I remember seeing a laptop....could mean my notebook laptop that I'm getting for my birthday). I go outside and all of a sudden, i kiss Valeria...(i made a WHAT THE FUCK look after that). I then go down stairs and I see a bunch of people outside under the stairs of the tall building in my school trying to make fire and shelter. It was raining more and more and I saw my mom in her car. I tried to run to her but there were fences surrounding the school campus (in case the infected got near). I finally make past and I asked my mom where she was going and she said; "I have to deliver these cookies to a lady". I helped her with the bags and she started to drive away. (I kind of felt like that was the last time I would see her). Most of the dream i kept walking in the school campus, trying to figure out why I woke up in the floor. Then my other friend Ashton comes along the way and she and I begin walking too. All of a sudden grass had begun growing. By this time Loara's front area where the Counseling offices are, everything was destroyed with grass and woods all over it. The parking lot next to Mr. Freeman's class and the rest of Anaheim facing that direction, had turned into a swampy like forest. As Ashton and I continue walking deeper in the forest, there is a small building in which old people were. I walked in and everything was with grass and old like oak trees had grown in there...it didn't seem to matter for the old people. There were leafs in the pool. It was like a sauna but a therapy area for old men and women. Ashton and I leave and as soon as we walk out, the ground begins shaking uncontrollably and savage. Almost as if Mother Nature was finally getting payback for the disasters that humans had created ever since they stepped foot in it years ago. The sky begins to get darker and darker. The rain begins to get heavier and heavier. Thunder and Lighting begin to mix with each other and huge black circle begins forming in the sky. The entire school campus begins to tremble and little by little the school begins to fall. I rush to my Biology class (by that time Ashton was no longer with me. I think she died..lol) and I grab the laptop and all of a sudden I see miss Lee (my Biology teacher), she's getting her papers and starts running. As I run outside the stairs begin to fall piece by piece and the top part of the building (where I was), begins to rotate side ways (so now the hall way that leads to Mr. Chavez' class was facing the ASB room). I fall off and I hit the ground. As I try to get back up to the second floor, Miss Lee gets hold of my laptop and begins to throw it in a garbage disposal. I begin to argue with Miss Lee and the other Biology teachers. The floors in the bottom had turned into a flood gate. People were running in agony. As the the entire school begins to shake ever harder, I see the girl I fell in love (in real life), Jenny. She doesn't notices me but she just stays still. Watching everything around her fall apart. All of a sudden frogs begin to appear all over the campus. They were just sitting in their lazy butts looking at all the suffering humans. Finally after the frogs show up, the raining stops and everything stops. The sky was still gray, just a little bit lighter than darker. I look at the frogs and they all stared at me in a funny way. (the frogs were green by the way). As soon as I hear a loud voice......i wake up. (I wake up and I take a shower and head off to school. in real life. i was late for zero period. *giggles*).

Which company sells the best computer bag for a woman? Gucci, Coach, Louis Vuitton? looking for something kinda of designer... leather, normal sized laptop, 800-1200 dollar range... dosen't have to be the designer i listed above. a bag that doesn't scream 'nylon computer bag that the I.T. guy gave me...' please reply with a link to a bag you like. my price range is 500-1000 i like this one so far: http://www.ebags.com/products/index.cfm?modelid=61492&sourceid=GOOGFEED01

Isn't this discrimination? airlines say you can have one carry-on bag and one personal item. For women, their purse counts as a personal item, so if they have a laptop, they have to pay extra. Men who have laptops don't have to pay. Isn't that sexual discrimination?

What do think of this little story? The coffee shop was buzzing, people milled around the counter, waiting for their coffees. Journalist and Novelist tapped away at their laptops; reading glasses, preached on their long, thin artistic noses, like a bird on a branch. A woman, wearing a deep pink cashmere sweater that I admired, flicked through a fashion magazine. Two European looking tourists, babbled to each other in a foriegn language, as they condempalited over a map. A group of teenaged girls sat at another table, giggling. I reckonized them as a group of students from my school. Contessa Samberg, Charlotte Martinez and Lorenna Reed. Contessa's father was an oil tycoon. Charlotte's Mother was a CEO for a cellphone company and Contessa's Dad invented some safety system in a car, all big money. They were the 'Queen B's' of Stanton College. Contessa looked at me, wished something to Lorenna and laughed. Her cold, dirty snare, sent shivers down my spine, like someone walked over my grave. The feeling left me wanting a shower. I sighed, grapped a couple of cruppled notes out of my wallet and left them on the plate where my delious peice of chocolate cake sat. I stuffed my laptop into my bag and went to leave. I mustered up all the courage I could pose and stormed past Contessa, Charlotte and Lorenna's table. I could hear their laughs fade as I walked out into the rainy sidewalk. My favourite Balent Flats became wet as I stormed through a puddle. I headed towards my house, only a quick 5 minute walk. As I walked past a loney group of shops, I heard three sets of slooshy footsteps behind me. I stopped and listened. They stopped too. I slowly spun on my heel. Only to see Contessa swing at me. I fell. Hard. My head hit the pavement with a crunch. The last thing I felt was their kicks to my stomuch and head and thats when everything went black for Luri Montag....

Best way to travel with my Nikon D90? This is my first camera of this size/type that I purchased for my trip to Hawaii coming up soon (wedding/honeymoon/vacation) =) One of my concerns is how to travel with, and pack this camera as a carry on? I'm a very petite woman and will probably have my laptop in my carry on bag also, not to mention my wedding dress. Two, no three item that are expensive that I really don't want to damage. I feel the camera is too large and bulky for me with the 18-105mm lens, but want to have beautiful photos. Tip and suggestions would be greatly appreciated. Getting another camera is not an option.

Police apology over suicide rope .....? Police have apologised to a widow for giving her the rope her husband had used to kill himself. Angie Gerelli, 52, who was separated from her husband, was given the rope when officers returned his possessions. Computer trainee John Gilmore, 50, was found dead in a park near his home in Barry, Vale of Glamorgan, in November. Ch Insp Jay Dave of South Wales Police said: "This was a very unfortunate incident and I would like to apologise for any distress caused as a result." He said the officers concerned would be "spoken to" and steps would be taken to ensure it never happened again. Mr Gilmore's possessions were returned to his wife, who lives in Amersham, Buckinghamshire, because she was his next of kin. Police had given Ms Gerelli three bags containing her husband's laptop, wallet and briefcase, but when she looked in the bags she noticed the rope. "I saw a yellow colour and realised what I had in my hand. I went to pieces and I just sunk to the floor," she said. "I dropped the rope and put my hands to my face." Despite being separated for four years, the couple were still close. "I am appalled - it was the most insensitive thing to do. I asked the officer if a gun would be given to the widow of a man who shot himself," she said. "He said they wouldn't because a gun is an illegal weapon - but as far as I'm concerned this rope was just like an illegal weapon." Officers later telephoned Ms Gerelli to apologise for their insensitivity. An inquest earlier this month determined that computer student Mr Gilmore from had taken his own life in Porthkerry country park where he was discovered on the afternoon of 2 November by a dog walker. Poor woman. When it comes to incompetence this has to be up there with the best!! Is an apology enough, or should they be given a harsher punishment? http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/wales/south_east/7969110.stm

What's your best "person got kicked off an airplane" story? Hopefully it's not one about YOU getting kicked off (what happens to people who get kicked off anyway, do they go to jail or just get banned from the airline forever?)...mine is in November of 2008, this big guy was in line to board the plane and had a suitcase with him. The airline checker said, "Sir, your bag is too big, you'll have to check it" and the guy started yelling VERY LOUDLY: "Oh! So my bag is too big? People I want you to look at this bag and then look at THIS bag" and he held up his bag and the bag of an airline employee who was also boarding. Then he proceeded to rant and rave about this and that and said he's sick of it, etc. He was obviously nuts! He got onto the plane and got into his seat and then kept yelling out loud, talking to himself...then these 2 men came on board, waited til everyone was seated, and told him the captain asked him to leave! He started yelling again and I was terrified that a huge fight was going to ensue, but he ended up walking off peacefully and everyone clapped! I was too scared to clap....my parents told me they were on a flight overseas and this guy got wasted, started looking up women's skirts, and finally the passengers restrained him and ending up sitting on him until they landed and the police took him! Someone on that plane ride also told me a story that a woman refused to turn off/put away her laptop, and when the plane landed she was literally carried off....we had better listen to those airline stewards and stewardesses, even though some of them have major attitude and appear to be on HUGE power trips (although I think if I had to fly with a ton of mostly crazy people in a small space, I'd be authoritative too, just to protect myself!) Best answer = 10 points. Come on, peeps, give some true answers! Another story from wayyy long ago, obviously pre-911 -- my father in law and my husband missed the flight that my mother in law and other members of the family were on. During takeoff my mother-in-law started getting upset...then got hysterical...my brother-in-law told them they had to turn the plane around now or else turn around over Minnesota...so they turned the plane around!! They landed and the pilot informed everyone that "for the first time in Midway Airlines history, we're returning to the gate because of a certain woman!" Then they had to make the walk of shame all the way from the back of the plane and people were swearing at them! My brother-in-law didn't speak to his mom for 3 days, and the airline made them spend the night before flying out the next day. My husband is sure happy he wasn't on that plane! So, that is my fun in-law family, aren't I LUCKY????!!!! My friend was going thru security and wearing a blazer over a skimpy-ish tank top. They asked her to remove her jacket. All she said was, "could I please remove it in private" because she was embarrassed to show everyone her tank top and they pulled her aside, harassed her, interrogated her and finally let her go. They were NUTS! One tip that's saved me -- when putting your stuff thru the x-ray machine, remove your bag of toiletries/carry on things that have liquids etc and put it on the side of your big bag. They LOVE that and will whisk you thru, most likely -- the 2 times I've done that they haven't batted an eye -- other times they would always snag my bag and check the hand cleaner, etc., and other liquids -- if you separate the little bag from the little bag they immediately ID you as an experienced traveler. Try it!

Can anybody Tell me why a woman can get away with lies? On December 30 I was arrested, thrown in jail, had my daughter apprehended and this all with not one single question asked to me. I got married on Sept 5 2008. Shortly there after we decided to buy a $185.000 house. In order to do this I took on 3 more jobs and was working 12-14 hours a day. When I got home from work I had to clean up our place because the wife did not do anything. Of course after a few weeks I was getting verbal and expressing my view. The arrangement was that I would work very hard to get the money together for the house and she would take care of my daughter and the house work. In early October I got home form work to find my wife using my laptop. When I looked over her shoulder I noticed an Icon the said “Stealth Key logger”. I also noticed she was into my bank account, phone records and e-mails. She was constantly accusing me of talking with other women and cheating. I was at work over 12 hours a day and she could call or come at anytime so this was nonsense. When I went to get the laptop back she banged it on the dresser threw it around and stepped on it. She then pushed me. I immediately left the house with my daughter. When I realised I did not have my daughter’s school bag or extra clothes I went back but was not let in. I attended city police to ask for assistance getting my things. When they attended my wife told them I had spit in her face. There were no charges laid and I was given my cell phone and left. After a few days I went back but slept in another room. She never got my daughter off or on the school bus so I had to make arrangements from work to do so myself. I decided not to make an investment of $185,000 when things are unstable so I backed out. This upset my wife. The day after she went to the bank and took out half the money so I opened a new account and put the rest there. I told her we needed to work things out from a distance and that it would be better that me and my daughter got our own place until we did so. I also in formed Children’s aid of this because they have placed my daughter in my care and custody form her biological mom. I was supposed to leave on January 1 But I could move in December 30th. It was on this day she went to women in crises and told them I had spit on her in October; I slapped her in November and Pulled my daughters hair in November. I was subsequently arrested and had my daughter taken away only on her complaint. I was not asked any question by police or the CAS. The province of Ontario mandates this action and the police said they have no discretion in domestic matters My daughter is now in foster care and I have not heard from her or the CAS. I have placed call after call and still have no word. I called the supervisor and was told I would get called when they have completed there investigation. I have had my daughter in my care for over 4 years and am a great father. I give my daughter every thing and have bent over backwards to get her to her mother. I never wanted to keep her from her mom but was being compliant with a child protection order against her mom. I was always in good standing with them. My wife told the police she is afraid of me because I was in the army for 20 years and my speciality is breaking necks. In all my army days I do not recall one class on that subject. If anything the army gave me the discipline and structure in my life that made me the person and father I am today. One thing I forgot, She is pregant and threatened me that if I left I would never see the baby. I told her I was in good standing with CAS and they were backing me for sole custody of my daughter, She said all she had to do is make one call and that would change,,,I guess she did it.

Hairspray spill on Macbook!?!!?!?!?!? the entire bottle of my liquid hairspray leaked at the bottom of my bag which my laptop was in....i went to take my laptop out of the bag, and the liquid was dripping from the inside of the laptop. i turned it on right away to see if it was okay (which might have not been a good idea) and it worked perfectly, i got on the internet and everything. then i shut it off. like an hour later i turned it back on it went alittle slower but loaded everything but froze. then i turned it off. later that night i turned it back on to see if it was okay after drying the battery out and it just stayed on the gray screen loading, non stop. and so i turned it off and dried it out for longer, but it still does the same thing. i called the 800 apple care and the woman lead me through this procedure but it failed to work

Hairspray leak on Macbook!?!??!? the entire bottle of my liquid hairspray leaked at the bottom of my bag which my laptop was in....i went to take my laptop out of the bag, and the liquid was dripping from the inside of the laptop. i turned it on right away to see if it was okay (which might have no been a good idea) and it worked perfectly, i got on the internet and everything. then i shut it off. like an hour later i turned it back on it went alittle slower but loaded everything but froze. then i turned it off. later that night i turned it back on to see if it was okay after drying the battery out and it just stayed on the gray screen loading, non stop. and so i turned it off and dried it out for longer, but it still does the same thing. i called the 800 apple care and the woman lead me through this procedure but it failed with disk 1.

Ladies, just one purse? I have had it! am always switching purses and offloading stuff to go out at night, gym, meetings, etc. I am sick of this! Has any busy woman out there managed to happily stick with just one purse? What size or type is it??? Do you carry a second bag for bulkier items like laptop, coffee mug, ballet slippers, spare sunglasses, etc? Do you carry a purse within a purse and the smaller one is for evenings? Does your wallet fit into your evening purse or are you constantly switching things around? Just Friday night I scrambled to put a few essentials into a small evening purse and now I can't find anything. I've had it! How do I get into the mindset of just one purse?

what do i do if i find out my father's been fooling around? my dad travel's alot for business and i know he's been fooling around because ive found a woman's pic. in his handphone, some condoms in his bag and i even found his profile on some dating website. plus he also watched porn on the net because i found the links on his laptop once. i dont want to tell my mom coz i dont want to break her heart and ive been keeping this to myself for quite some time now but i cant hold it any longer. i cant see my dad the way i used to anymore.

LGBT : Su Su Surveyyyyyyy!!!!! U know u want to! :)? *crrrrrrasssassssasasas* voice comes on *side 2 of tape 1* And we're back folks! Thanks for hanging in during the commercials! Now, what uve all been waiting for!!!!Let's start! 1.Gold or Silver??? 2.A Cruise or a visit to the dentist??? 3.All u can eat buffet OR an all u can drink bar??? 4.Skulls or Ribs??? 5.Butler or Maid??? 6.Glasses or contacts??? 7.Pidgon toed or Pidgon fingered??? 8.Paul Smith or Brenda Song??? 9.Chicken or Tropical Parrot??? 10.White or Yellow??? 11.Black or Green??? 12.Jasmine or 4 leafclover??? 13.Laptop or LapDance??? 14.Sharks or Turtles??? 15.Apple or Leprechaun??? 16.Rich and Happy or Poor and Sad??? 17.Dolfin earings or Light-up elf earings??? 18.Piano teacher or Popcorn teacher??? 19.Public bathroom or Celery Sticks??? 20.Love or Murder??? 21.Make-out session or Old woman hitting u with a bag session??? 22.Soap Opera or Stalker??? 23.Men or LifeGuards??? 24.Flowers and Chocolates or Whips and Stabs in the back??? 25.Alien abduction or Fish Abduction??? 26.Waterballoons or Good times??? HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA i fooled U!!!!HAHAHAHA blacks not a color!!!!HAHAHAHAHAHA ;DDD W.E. Voice comes on : *end of tape 1, please insert tape 2....thankyou...* U know u like the word "insert", who doesnt????AM i RIGHT??!! @ butterbing : Y THANK YOU!!!!! I appreciate that VERY much!!!!! ;D

Things we learn from movies.? 1) Large, loft-style apartments in New York City are well within the price range of most people--whether they are employed or not. 2) At least one of a pair of identical twins is born evil. 3) Should you decide to defuse a bomb, don't worry which wire to cut. You will always choose the right one. 4) Most laptop computers are powerful enough to override the communications system of any invading alien society. 5) It does not matter if you are heavily outnumbered in a fight involving martial arts: your enemies will wait patiently to attack you one by one by dancing around in a threatening manner until you have knocked out their predecessors. 6) When you turn out the light to go to bed, everything in your bedroom will still be clearly visible, just slightly bluish. 7) If you are blonde and pretty, it is possible to become a world expert on nuclear fission at the age of 22. 8) Honest and hard-working policemen are traditionally gunned down three days before their retirement. 9) Rather than wasting bullets, megalomaniacs prefer to kill their arch enemies using complicated machinery involving fuses, pulley systems, deadly gasses, lasers and man-eating sharks, which will allow their captives at least 20 minutes to escape. 10) All beds have special L-shaped cover sheets that reach the armpit level on a woman, but only to waist level on the man lying beside her. 11) All grocery shopping bags contain at least one stick of French bread. 12) It's easy for anyone to land a plane, providing there is someone in the control tower to talk you down. 13) Once applied, lipstick will never rub off--even while scuba diving. 14) You're very likely to survive any battle in any war unless you make the mistake of showing someone a picture of your sweetheart back home. 15) Should you wish to pass yourself off as a German or Russian officer, it will not be necessary to speak the language. A German or Russian accent will do. 16) The Eiffel Tower can be seen from any window in Paris . 17) A man will show no pain while taking the most ferocious beating, but will wince when a woman tries to clean his wounds. 18) If a large pane of glass is visible, someone will be thrown through it before long. 19) If staying in a haunted house, women should investigate any strange noises in their most revealing underwear. 20) Word processors never display a cursor on screen but will always say: “Enter Password Now.” 21) Even when driving down a perfectly straight road, it is necessary to turn the steering wheel vigorously from left to right every few moments. 22) All bombs are fitted with electronic timing devices with large red readouts so you know exactly when they're going to go off. 23) A detective can only solve a case once he has been suspended from duty. 24) If you decide to start dancing in the street, everyone you meet will know all the steps. 25) Police departments give their officers personality tests to make sure they are deliberately assigned a partner who is their total opposite. 26) When they are alone, all foreign military officers prefer to speak to each other in English. 27) A car door is perfect to shield yourself from bullets.

my book the kidnappe? There once was a town called Shellymin it was a very peaceful place, everyone knew each other, they were all friends. It was a little island, most people would go there for a holiday even though others stayed there for a lifetime. You had to go on a ferry to get to the island, it costed $5 per person but if you were a homeowner it would only cost $2. The trees were very good to climb on and that’s why all the children loved the tree’s there. There was also a huge lake that you were aloud to swim in but you couldn’t go past the poles that were in the water because that’s where the fish swam. All the houses stood in a row like soldiers, and every house that was built was to be made out of wood because the man who owned this island loved houses made out of wood, you also couldn’t paint them, but if you had permission you could. In this little island there lived a rich family, this family was called the Charlson family. Steve Charlson was in the company that worked for the island and he had a wife and four children. He had light brown hair and eyes the colour of the sea. His wife, Alice was a Nurse at the Shellymin’s Children’s Hospital and was thin and beautiful with her long golden hair and bright blue eyes. Their eldest child was Jake Charlson, who was seventeen and nearly going to collage to train to become a teacher. With his good looks and his sweet and sensitive personality he got him self a girlfriend . Next in child birth was Jessica Charlson or you might say Jess, as she was known to be called, she had long brown hair, a few freckles and bright blue eyes the colour of her mum’s, she was pretty, bright and was 13. After Jess came Maxwell Charlson but he preferred to be called Max, Max was a bully at school and had very little friends, he was 11, stubborn and had shaggy, muddy brown hair and a gloomy face. The very youngest of the children was Caroline Charlson, the 4 year old, cute little angel, at least that’s what her parents thought of her, the true Caroline was a clever, tough, out going little rascal, she was cute with her puppy dog eyes and curly blonde hair on the outside but the real her was on the inside. Then there was there house that was very beautiful, it had a balcony outside every room and it was a 3-storie mansion that looked over the lake, it was LOVELY! Each room had a safe in it just incase they would have a brake-in. In Jesse’s safe there was her money her jewelry and her rare CD’s. In Jake’s safe there was a book called “How To Be A Teacher” there was also a trophy from the Spelling Bee contest when he was 7. In Max’s safe there was an invitation to the bad boys gang party and a card that said: you are now an official bad boy gangster, and a CD signed by the country’s best rapper. Then last is Caroline she had a karate medal and karate clothes from her secret lessons, and a medal from the beauty contest she won when she was 3 and her first lost tooth from a few weeks ago. In the living room they had a flat Plasma screen TV in front of their couch and a coffee table just beside it, they also had all around sound to make the TV sound realistic. In the Kitchen they had a glass table, some cupboards and lots of top class electronics. In Jake’s bedroom, he had a bed, a desk with a 24 inch screen Macintosh computer on it, a TV and a walk in wardrobe. In Jess’s room she had a mirror, some posters of Avril Lavigne and Brad Pit, she had a bunk bed with a desk underneath instead of a bed and a 30 inch TV. In Max’s room there was a rock ‘n’ roll guitar tickets to a concert that’s called: ‘rocking my life’ CD’s for beginner rockers. Also a Compaq laptop and a rockstar book. His bed was a big one that had a black blanket and in big white letters it said this: ROCKSTAR! He also had a white plain pillow. On the wall there was posters of famous rocker’s. In Caroline’s room there was a little bed on the wall there was a painting off a mermaid sitting on a rock then in the corner was a little table with a mirror on it and some ‘learning to read’ books and the carpet was a little pink and red stripes carpet then in the mum and dad’s room there was a king sized bed a mirror on each side of the bed there was a bedside table and then there was a door that led to the bathroom. There was also a indoor pool with lots of toys. The charltons’s also had a trampoline that floats on the water. Upstairs was a play room with playmobile Lego action figures mini go-karts a little race track and two mote-control cars then there was a spare room for guest’s and a cupboard where all the mum and dad’s trophies and medals. “I’m going to the pub you look after the kids ok?” Said Steve as he went out the door. “Ok, darling.” She said as he closed the door behind him. When he got to the pub he said “Hi Moe, give me a beer or two.” In 25 minutes Steve had drunken 12 cups of beers and a bottle of wine. Not surprisingly Steve got drunk, he was so drunk he couldn’t drive the way home and had to take a taxi. “Hi honey, I’m home!” Steve said as he walked into the room with a slam behind him as he closed the door. “Shh, don’t wake up the kids!” Alice whispered. ”What took you so long, Steve?” “Um, uh, can I lie down for a second?” “Oh no, don’t say you got drunk again! How many beers did you have?” “Just 12.” “Just 12? You know what could happen if you got drunk like the time you nearly killed someone with a chair. Where is the car, Steve? You didn’t take a taxi home, did you? Now the car’s still at the pub!” “Just calm down, I can explain.” ‘Explain what Steve? You know what, this is just going too far, I’m going have to leave. You obviously do not know how to set an example, these are our children Steve! And if you can’t take care of them, then I will! Tomorrow morning I’m taking Caroline and Jessica and leaving this house for good. “Fine, let it be that way! You maniac!” “Me? You’re the maniac! No, even worse, you’re an imbecile!” “NO! Don’t have a divorce!” Shouted Caroline while she jumped out from behind the sofa. “It’s not what you think.” Alice said in a calm voice. Then max jumped out from behind the sofa and said “But then why did you say your taking Jess and Caroline and leaving for good?” “Look everyone just go to bed and in the morning Alice will take Jess and Caroline ok?” Said Steve angrily. Then Jake slowly gets up from behind the sofa and said “No! It’s not fair soon I’m going to college and won’t be able to see you again!” “Don’t worry Jake we’ll visit you alright?” In the morning at 10 o’clock Alice, Jess and Caroline got up had breakfast and then had a little play but Alice looked for a house then she found a lovely house just like there’s so Alice, Jess and Caroline went to have a look at it while Max, Jake and Steve stayed home. When all the boys woke up they had breakfast Max had some Weet-Bix with sultana’s on it and milk, Jake had nutigrain and Steve had some yogurt then they started cleaning up all the girl’s room first they painted Caroline’s room white then they took her bed away and then her table and the mirror then they took all of Jesse’s stuff and they took the posters of her wall. They took her TV away and her table and bunk bed. When a big truck came they put everything in the truck and the truck drived off to give the furniture to Alice and the kids. For lunch they all had some sandwiches because no wanted a really good lunch they didn’t feel like it then Steve said “ok who wants to go get spoilt maybe go in the pool have a party just to get cheered up?” Both boys said “yeah!” The next day it was their school day the school was called ‘New Life, the school was 5 minutes away it had a playground with 2 swing’s a slide a pole to slide down and that was all there was also a sandpit, there was pre-primary to high school there was a library and a swimming pool the principal was called Mrs. Marble she had a son called Mr.Marble his first name was Alex he was my teacher everyone in the class liked him because whenever your good he will give you fake money then you can buy lollies off him and whoever has the most money at the end of the year will get 2 bags of lollies. Then the school library teacher was called Mrs.Hudnker she taught the year 1 to year 2’s to read then she read stories to the year 3’s to year 7’s then she would give us worksheets and pencils. The school was very nice everyone liked it. but one-day when the dad was resting a man called John that was going to get kicked out of the island didn’t want to get kicked out and also he wanted their money (with ‘their’ I mean the rich family) so he got a match stick lit it and started a fire…The fire got bigger and bigger by the time the fire was as big as the door John had gone to the place where firemen worked he was back with a fireman suit. He ran into the house and took Steve, Steve woke up shocked. John then took Steve to the his house Steve then shouted “where is my kid’s go get my kids!” but the man called John laughed and said “well only if you let me back into here,you didn’t really think I was a fireman did you? Haha” Steve stared at John then said “look John you are band but if you save my kids then I’ll let you stay. You in?” “Deal” said John with a smirk on his face but first John took Steve to a chair and put sticky tape on Steve’s mouth and tied him onto the chair then John went to go for the kids but when John came back he said “the kids weren’t there” Steve frowned and said “your just trying to scare me get my kids right now!” John smiled again “look pal there not there and I’ve done want you wanted me to do so you better let me stay” “NO WAY!” said Steve in a angry voice “ok then Steve we will do it the hard way” John took out a knife and was just going to stab Steve when the door smashed and a log came flying in then guess who opened the door. It was Max, Jake, Bell, Alex and Jessie and all the other kids then Max said “SAVE IT JOHN IF YOUR GOING TO HURT MY DAD YOU HAVE TO GET THROUGH ME AND EVERYONE ELSE!” then all the kids got out their weapons some had baseball bats some had tennis rackets some had logs. However, Steve did not want to risk his children so Steve said, “NO kids don’t! You will die please kids!” but the kids did not listen then Jake said “dad you have done everything for us like when your working and I want to play footy with you because no one else does you will just play with me and do your work later” then all the kids nodded then Jessie said “so now we are doing something for you!” but John wouldn’t allow this so he pointed up they gun and loaded it, Steve was signaling to go home but this time the children obeyed. Chapter two The Clever, tough outgoing little rascal Is let out. “What are we going to do?” Asked Jessie “my stepfather might be killed!” she started panicking. “Tell the police?” asked Max. “No! If we want to save our father than if we tell the police they wont let us interfere.” Said Jake frowning. Max got angry. “Shut up Jake we shouldn’t interfere!” “Max, Jake is right we need to save your dad we can’t let the police do it! Anyway the police don’t know where they are, and right now I don’t either! The police are terrible anyway, this is the first time that there has been and murderous kindapper on the loose since I was born!” Bell said firmly. Everyone started shouting at each other and fighting. “EVERYONE! SHUT UP!” Alex roared. “We are losing time! Fighting is not the answer! First we will try save dad then if we can’t we will tell the whole town!” the other kids and teenagers started to nodd there heads. “we need to spy on them first but we need someone small that can fit between the gates. Because John locked them once we went out.” “Now it is my time to shine!” a voice came from down the dark drippy alley. “Who was that?” Jessie asked. Geuss who came into sight this time? Caroline. “Caroline!” everyone shouted. “No your to young to join with us, its not like you do karate!” everyone giggled by the thought of that. “Oh really?” caroline showed everyone her medals for karate. She had proved them wrong. “Wow!” everyone shouted. “Now lets get to work!” Caroline shouted with a smile on her face. “Wait a minute.” One of the boys said. “Why would John just let us go? Wouldn’t he think that we would tell someone?” “We got to get out of here before he finds out we are here!” Another boy whispered. “To late!” It was John! The kids tried to run but he caught them all. Accept from Caroline that had seen him come out and right now was saving his stepfather. She explaned that they couldn’t tell anyone and had to save the kids. “John has made a big deal out of leaving this island.” Caroline whispered “dad?” caroline saw that Steve was like a statue. She heard him whisper under his breath, “Alice.” Caroline was confused, “what about mum. Whats wrong with her?” Steve stopped being like a statue and shouted with a horrified face, “ALICE! John said he is going to hurt her! He knows where she is! We need to save her!” Caroline understood and at once they both ran to the hospital. Steve ran to the counter. “Oh, hi Steve lovely day today, I am sorry about your divorce. Are you here for a app-“ “just be quiet! I have to see Alice! This is an emergency!” “I uh, well, um,” the women studdered. “Where is she!” Steve screamed. “Don’t shout! The lady whispered. Why are you here?” “It is an emergency please I need to see her!” “Ok, ok, calm down I saw a man walk out with her, he said his name was John Mclay, he was taking her out for a test or something, well, that’s what he said.” Steve and caroline had wide eyes. They ran out of the hospital. “What should we do?” Caroline cried. She had tears rolling down her cheek. Same with Steve. DING, DING, DONG. It was time for everyone in the island to go somewhere of the island. Caroline and Steve had been looking for hours asking every person they saw. No sign. Everyone left. Accept from John Alice and the kids. They were here somewhere hiding. “What if mum is dead and brother and sister and friends?” Caroline wheeped. Steve lifted her up onto his shoulders to comfort her. But not only he comforted her he made her smile the biggest smile. The kids and Alice were in an alley hiding. “Dad! I see mum and others!” whispered Caroline merrily. Steve had also seen. They ran to each other and kissed and hugged. But Alice was quick to think. “We must get out of here! John was going to put a sleeping pill in me and drown me in water!” everyone started to frown. “Look there is the last ferry over there, we should catch it to the meeting. We are allready late! But while we are going there we need an excuse.” Said Alice. They quickly hopped onto the boat. Just as it was going to leave Steve said “wait! We can’t come back to this island, we need to go somewhere else. Lets go get the carand bring it with us so we can go somewhere. Kids stay here. Jake you look after them Alice and I will get the car.” The two ran off and got into the car. Steve was starting it up and Alice had a horrified face. “Steve? Steve? STEVE?!” screamed Alice. “What?!” Said Steve rising his head. “The chilrdren! The ferry!” Screamed Alice getting out of the car. Steve quickly looked. The ferry was leaving with the children. “John was the ferry driver!” shouted Steve they ran to the water. Steve jumped in so he could get to them but they were allready near the end. Steve swam back. The two were shouting for help. The kids were to. John took them off the boat. He had a big metal thing that was black and a square shape. The sun was shining off it. Suddenly they both realised. It was a BOMB. Days later there was no sign of the kids or the townspeople. Steve and Alice collected all the keys for the cars just incase they needed someextra transport. Their were two keys for each car incase one was lost. They had made a raft and they floated to the other side when the water was calm and still. The sun gazed down on them. A car was parked on the other side. Steve opened the door and tried every key. Finally he found the right one. The car was a red Holden wit some brown mud on the bottom. Alice touched the car. “It has been here for a while the car is very hot.” The sun gazed down in the lovely blue lake. Alice and Steve got into the car. He turned it around and drove around the corner. Suddenly he stopped. The meeting house had blown up. There was black ashand the the lovely house with a bell on the front and swimming pool in the front turned into big ruins. The place was terrible. Suddenly they saw a note on a tree this is what it read: Dear Mom and Dad,we know That you would come for us so we sneaked this writing and stuck it to a wall. John said something about, a dungeon. We don’t have much time so we will just give you these sums. 715+2351920+2015+42114.7515.1419.

Is this a good book? I'm currently writing this book. Is this good? The hallway buzzed with noise as Mabel tried to squish through the crowd. “ Oh my gosh! Isn’t this cool?!”, Noah grabbed Mabel’s shoulders and screamed. Noah cleared her throat. “I mean, it’s the first day of middle school and…” She stopped and stared at the group of football players as if they were rock stars. Mabel stared at the group. Noah pulled out her vanilla Lip Smacker and smiled. “Look, there’s Robert!”, she said smacking her glossy lips and smiling. Mabel sighed. Robert has been her only crush since second grade and during the summer, she promised herself that this year, in seventh grade, she would make him hers. She just wondered why he never hung out with her or even said a word to her. Is it because she wasn’t pretty enough? Or was it because he didn’t like girls who stuck their noses in books and paid attention in class like Mabel. As a straight-A student, she only cared about education. If she got a C or lower, he he hallway buzzed with noise as Mabel tried to squish through the crowd. “ Oh my gosh! Isn’t this cool?!”, Noah grabbed Mabel’s shoulders and screamed. Noah cleared her throat. “I mean, it’s the first day of middle school and…” She stopped and stared at the group of football players as if they were rock stars. Mabel stared at the group. Noah pulled out her vanilla Lip Smacker and smiled. “Look, there’s Robert!”, she said smacking her glossy lips and smiling. Mabel sighed. Robert has been her only crush since second grade and during the summer, she promised herself that this year, in seventh grade, she would make him hers. She just wondered why he never hung out with her or even said a word to her. Is it because she wasn’t pretty enough? Or was it because he didn’t like girls who stuck their noses in books and paid attention in class like Mabel. As a straight-A student, she only cared about education. If she got a C or lower, her mom would start a long conversation about “if you don’t have the grades, Mabel, you may never get into Harvard. You need to take education seriously. Now go study and promise me a better test next time.” Mabel would nod her head and run off to her room. Mabel knew it was because of that. Noah, Mabel’s best friend since kindergarten, was cool and never shy. In be fact, Mabel would be totally jealous of her because on top of being a straight-B student, she was cute, friendly, funny, and had adorable style. Hmm…what if Robert likes Noah? Mable wondered to herself. She was stunned. “Noah, do you think that I’m…you know, geeky?” Noah looked down at the floor. “Um…well, you’re not that geeky, you’re just…” Mabel interrupted, “Nerdy?” Noah nearly yelled out “Yes!” Mabel stared her. She was right. The two headed to the girls bathroom. “Are you sad?” asked Noah as she applied mascara and pink eye shadow. Mabel finished tying her shoes and let out a calm “No.” Noah smiled and said, “Perfect! My make up is so perfect. No smudges, no colors getting mixed up!” Mabel giggled, “Your pink eye shadow doesn’t match your dark red lips”. Noah grinned and started to sing “Ain’t no other man”. “You look and sing just like a miniature Christina Aguilera!” Mabel said while putting on nail polish. There was no one else in the bathroom and they felt relaxed. Rrrrring! “Oh my gosh! We’re gonna be late!” Noah struggled to pack up her cosmetics in her purple pouch. “Wait!”, screamed Noah, “my lips got smudged!” Mabel sighed. Why was it that Mabel only needed nail polish to feel beautiful while Noah needed the whole enchilada? Noah finally found a light shade of lavender and wiped it all over her lips. She put on a coat of her signature vanilla Lip Smacker. They rushed out of the bathroom and into the classroom. The teacher stared at them. He was a bald man with round, black glasses and he had on a button-down shirt, a tie with prancing elves, and tuxedo pants. “You girls got lucky. Class starts in one more minute but everyone else came early. Guess they’re all excited about stepping up and becoming seventh graders.” They took the seats in the front next to each other. A couple seconds later, the teacher announced “Five, four, three…” Amber, Raquel, Ashley, and Anna rushed in right when he was going to say “two”. Mabel and Noah looked at each other and mouthed the words “popular girls”. This group is even worse than all the bullies. These girls were so preppy and girly and Amber was the head of them. It was her who said what do and what not to do and everyone else in her crew did exactly what she said and she treated them like servants. They even wore matching clothes and today, it was plaid Bermuda shorts, sparkly tank tops, and ballet flats. The group took the seats right next to Robert. Amber worked up her charm and flirted with Robert. Mabel grunted and played around with the key chain in the pocket of her hoodie. “No more being a nerd,” she whispered to herself. Apparently, Noah heard and winked. She then whispered, “Good idea, Mabel!” The teacher cleared his voice and in a soft therapist voice said, “Hello students. My name is Mr. Smith and I’m going to be your history teacher.” Everyone stared at him as if he was speaking another language. As always, Mabel knew that Mr. Smith would be a great teacher. Mr. Smith pulled out a box of textbooks and passed them out. “Everyone, please to turn to page 6. Please silently read this section on ancient Egypt.” Everyone got right to work and started reading while Mr. Smith sat down at his desk. He jotted down things on a notebook. Half an hour later, when everyone was finished reading, he passed out slips of paper to everyone. “Please put your slip into the hat on my desk”, he pointed to his desk “we will be starting our ancient Egypt projects and now we are picking partners.” Mabel’s heart started pounding. The only way that Robert could notice me is if I worked with him on a project, she thought. “The first pair is Rachel and Chris.” Mable was shocked. Who knew Rachel, the sophisticated wannabe-lawyer would wound up with the kid who did arm farts in front of the teacher? “The next pair is Noah and Robert.” Mabel almost cried. How could this be? But then she calmed down. What if she used Noah to ask Robert some questions about what kind of girl he was into? Hmmm…maybe Noah was more useful than giving bad makeovers. Mr. Smith glanced up at the clock. “Whoops! Time is running out! I better assign partners and fast!”, he said in a cartoon voice. “Harold and Mabel. Thomas and Amber. Tiffany and Raquel. Anna and Mohammed. Ashley and David.” Mabel felt like dying. How could she possibly be stuck with Harold, the boy who picks his nose and eats a plain sandwich with a massive dallop of mayonnaise and a pickle or two to top it off. Mabel never forgot the time when he shoved one of his icky sandwiches up her throat. She barfed and had to go home early. After history class, Mabel went to the bathroom while Noah went to ask Mr. Smith some questions about the project. Mabel was upset that Noah got to be Robert’s partner. Noah barged into the girl’s bathroom. “Why didn’t you wait for me?” groaned Noah. Mabel just applied some lip-gloss and looked the other way. Noah frowned. Mabel then smacked her lips and blew her nails. “Mabel, you can’t give me the silent treatment forever. Now, tell me why you’re so mad.” Mabel cleared her throat, “Why do you get to be Robert’s partner and I don’t?” Noah looked at Mabel as if she was stupid. “Mabel, the whole partner-picking thing was random, so I didn’t get to choose.” Mabel rolled her yes, “So what? I’m still mad.” Noah started to get angry and shouted, “Its not my fault!” Mabel stared at her. Mabel had never seen Noah erupt before. She must have really pressed Noah’s buttons, but she didn’t care, or at least pretended not to care. Mabel finally got the message: Noah might actually like Robert. “Wait a minute,” said Mabel “you like Robert.” Noah was silent. “Do you like Robert?” Mabel demanded. Noah nodded her head. Mabel started crying. Noah approached Mabel and hugged her. Noah whispered, “Are we still friends?” Mabel wiped her tears and said, “I don’t know.” Mabel left the bathroom, slamming the door, and went off to English class. Luckily, Mabel didn’t have English class with Noah so she would have to deal with Noah passing notes asking, “Are we still friends?” Mabel knew this because this happened last year. English class was pretty quiet without Noah yelling out answers and whispering jokes about Mrs. Renoldi. Mrs. Renoldi was an old-fashioned lady who probably still believed it was the 1900’s. In a turtleneck sweater, shiny silver pants, loafers, poofy hair, a red and green headband, and novelty earrings, she was the nerdiest teacher in the whole school. After English class, Mabel went over to get her science book from her locker to study at lunch. Noah had slipped a note into Mabel’s locker: Dear Mabel, I’m really sorry. Please forgive me. I mean, it’s not my fault that I have a crush on Robert. Besides, its not like I’m going to flirt with him or something. -Noah Mabel carefully studied the note. Wow…Noah even used the blue gel pen I gave her last year , thought Mabel. She did feel bad about being mad at Noah for no reason. She wanted to forgive her, but she wasn’t sure yet. She pulled out her science book and her wrinkled up paper bag and headed over to the cafeteria. Lunch just wasn’t the same without Noah. Mabel had a peanut butter sandwich, homemade brownies, orange juice, and an apple. She glumly ate lunch. She wondered where Noah was sitting. She glanced through the whole cafeteria until finally she spotted Noah. Mabel gasped and choked on a chunk of the apple. There was Noah sitting with Amber, Ashley, Raquel, and Anna laughing it up right in front of Mabel. Mabel felt gullible to even want to forgive Noah. Noah was trying to make Mabel jealous and it worked. Mabel thought of a plan to embarrass Noah for life. The next day, Mabel completely ignored Noah and Noah ignored her back. Mabel was lonely while Noah flaunted herself with the “popular girls”. During history class, Mabel watched as Noah smiled and blushed right in front of Robert. That’s when Mabel realized that he really did like Noah. “Want to eat lunch with me?” he said to Noah. The whole class gasped. The star of the football team and the preppy, happy girl…eating lunch…together? Mabel watched as Noah and Robert giggled at lunch. They seemed as though they’ve known each other forever. Mabel couldn’t stand it. She walked over to where Noah was sitting and dumped milk all over her head. Noah screamed. Noah went running like a dog with a tail on fire. And Robert frowned. “What the heck, you geek?!” he shouted. Mabel stared at him, feeling the tears slipping out of her eyes. A geek? Great, now I know he thinks I’m a geek, she thought. Mabel took her wrinkled up paper bag with an apple core and half of the sandwich and walked out of the cafeteria. She went to her locker and stared at herself in the mirror of her locker. She checked herself. What was so geeky about her? Moments later, she realized what was nerdy. Square black glasses that were so big that they took up half of her face. A piggy nose. Red and blue braces. A button down cotton shirt. Plaid trousers. Socks up to the knee. Maybe if she stretched them, they’d cover her whole leg. And red low top Converse. She felt the word in her mind. That word. Geek. Its time to stop being a geek once and for all, she thought. Chapter 2 Mabel looked at herself in the mirror in the morning and smiled. “No more being a geek!” she screamed in delight. As she walked through the hallway at school, she finally knew that being a geek was over for her. “Ooh hot!” screeched the boys. And that one sound that made it feel worth it. Gasp. Gasp. Mabel was wearing a red tube top with the word “baby” written in fold foil. She wore an incredibly mini mini-skirt. She had strappy red sandals and she dyed her hair cherry chocolate with red and black streaks. She wore a chain necklace, earrings, and a tattoo. She went to class. History class, she sighed. Mr. Smith looked at her. The teacher’s pet has gone wrong. “Um, Mabel, would you like to read page 12, paragraph 2?” Mabel stared at him. Look, I’m not a kiss-up teacher’s pet girl anymore. I’m a hot, bad girl, she thought. “No.” she said in a snobby tone. She knew how to do this voice perfectly because the popular crew practically created that voice. Mr. Smith looked at her. “Please read the paragraph, Mabel.” Mabel then said, in a snobbier tone, “No.” Mr. Smith turned red. “READ THE PARAGRAPH!” he screamed. “No.” Mabel said like she was tring to be annoying. Mr. Smith then said, “Mabel read the paragraph or else.” Mabel stood up and walked toward him, “Are you threatening me?” she screamed. “Get your backpack and head to the principal’s office. You’re in big trouble, ma’am!” The class roared with “Ooooh!” and “Uh oh!” And what Mabel was waiting for. Gasp. Gasp. “So, why didn’t you read the paragraph?” asked the principal. Mrs. Harper was sitting at her desk in a light blue business suit, high heels to match, and a messy bun. Mabel stared at her wrinkles. Um…there’s something called Botox, thought Mabel. “I’m waiting to know.” The principal added. The office was so depressing. The desk Mrs. Harper was sitting at was flowing with tattered papers. Pens and pencils were all over the floor. Mabel was sitting on a little pink stool. There was a countertop with coffee mugs and file folders. The carpet looked as though there was a wild party in there. Gum on the floor. “Mabel, are you going to talk or not,” asked the principal. Mabel sighed. “I just didn’t feel like reading.” Mabel put on her puppy dog hoodie. If Mrs. Harper saw Mabel with a tube top, the trouble she was already was in would be doubled. “Tube tops aren’t allowed”, Mrs. Harper would say over and over again. Mrs. Harper rose her eyebrows, “So, why didn’t you feel like reading.” Mabel decided to lie. It was the only way to get out of all this trouble. “Well, I didn’t feel like reading because I was in a bad mood. I felt like crying.” Mrs. Harper suddenly switched from principal mode to therapist mode. “Oh, dear! What happened, Mabel?” Mabel replied as glumly as she can, “Well, I like Robert and now Robert likes Noah and I want him to like me.” Mabel then stated crying for real. By trying to lie, she ended up telling the truth. Mrs. Harper nodded her head, “It’ll be okay, dear. Boys are mysterious people, really they are. Don’t cry please.” Mabel cried and cried. Mrs. Harper reached into the desk drawer and pulled out a mango-flavored lollypop. Mabel took it even though strawberry-flavored lollypops were her favorite. She wiped her tears and left the office. She went to bathroom to wash her face. Noah walked into the bathroom too. “So, what happened in the office?” asked Noah. Mabel replied, “Nothing. I didn’t get in trouble.” Noah smiled. “That’s good,” Noah giggled. “The whole class was talking about it while we were supposed to be working on our Egypt projects. Everyone thought you got suspended or something.” Noah added. Mabel sighed. She really did miss Noah. Mabel asked, “So, how is it going with Robert?’ Noah shook her head. “All he ever talks about is Amber. I found out he’s using me to get to Amber. So I dumped him during history class.” Mabel felt so bad. “How could we have let one boy ruin our friendship?” Mabel asked sadly. “I missed you so much. There was no one to dip Oreos into chocolate milk with while watching cartoons, no one to play soccer with, no one to watch movies with, no one to bake cookies with, no one to play “hair salon” with. No one to do anything with. Please, please, please, please be my best friend again.” Noah cried. Noah was sobbing. Mabel yelled happily, “Of course I’ll be your friend again!” They hugged and cried. “Everyone was talking about your geek to chic makeover today,” Noah said. Mabel smiled, “My days as Geek Girl are over!” Noah then added, “The football team was even talking about how hot you looked. And Robert!” Mabel leaped with excitement. She ran over to Robert. “Hey, Robert!” she said in that total flirt tone. Robert looked at her. “You look really hot.!” Mabel giggled. “Wanna go out to the movies this Friday night?” she asked. Robery smiled, “Yeah, sure.” Friday came and Mabel was throwing clothes out of her closet. Her room was a little small. Her bed, with her pink and lime green bedding, was in the middle, magazines with cut out pictures of celebrities were all over the carpet, and one pink dresser and a desk with a laptop. Her closet was small, which is why most of her clothes were all over the floor. Where is that pink tube top? she wondered. She found her tube top under her bed and pulled it on. She grabbed her high heels and skinny jeans. She put glittery pink eye shadow and sparkly pink lipstick. She headed over to the theatre and walked up to Robert, who waiting inside near the snack area. “Want popcorn?” asked Robert. Mabel blushed as pink as her lipstick and said, “Yes, please” in her most innocent little girl voice. She has used this voice to get herself out of trouble with her mom. He paid for popcorn and purchased a drink and escorted Mabel to a seat way in the back. Robert sat down and put the popcorn in Mabel’s lap. Mabel smiled weakly. This was her first date ever and she felt so awkward. The movie started and Robert smiled at her. She wasn’t interested in watching ‘Superman strikes again’, but she pretended to be completely interested in it. She sighed and daydreamed about getting married to Robert. She smiled and dozed off. Before she knew it, the dream became beautiful the more she imagined. “Mabel”, Robert said while shaking her. He cleared his throat, “Wake up, Mabel!” Mabel woke up, still sleepy. “What happened?” she asked, feeling drowsy. Robert frowned. “You missed the whole movie because you fell asleep”, he replied. Mabel widened her eyes. What a jerk I am. The one and only hottie who I loved for so long finally went on a date with me and I fell asleep. Poor guy paid for tickets and snacks and I wasted it all and fell asleep. Fell asleep, she thought. “I’m sorry.” Mabel said. Robert got up and said, “Come on, lets go.” Mabel sighed. The one and only boy she really loved is going to dump her after one date. Just one date! No, she was not going to let him dump her. They went outside and sat at the bench. Robert was waiting for a taxi to pick them up. Mabel grabbed his arm, “Are you still mad at me?! All I did was fall asleep during the movie! You can’t blame me for being a bit tired. You’re not the one who has to study, play the violin, play the piano, go to soccer practices every day, and still have time to do homework! And then I still have chores and you in my life! So, why are you mad if you can’t understand what I go through every freaking day of my life!” Mabel had yelled this out so loud that everyone waiting for the bus and exiting and entering the theatre could hear. She sounded like a crazy woman who wanted to break up with her husband. Robert stood there, embarrassed as everyone stared at Mabel and Robert. Robert just glared at her and looked down. “I wasn’t mad at you, just a little annoyed. That’s all. But you had to embarrass me in front of all these people.” Mabel shrugged. “I’m really, really sorry, Robert. Please forgive me.” Mable said. Robert hugged her and replied, “Just don’t let it happen again.” They let go and Mabel quietly sad, “Ok.” Noah called Mabel two hours after she got back from the date with Robert. Noah seemed pretty excited. “So, how did the date go with Robert?” Mabel sighed, “I fell asleep during the movie and he seemed pretty upset and I yelled at him in public like a mad woman with no therapist who wanted to divorce her husband and live alone in a mountaintop in Oregon or something.” Noah giggled, “Don’t tell me you brought up the fact that you practice piano and stuff. And why Oregon? I heard that Wisconsin has pretty nice mountaintops perfect for mad women with no therapist who want to divorce their husband.” Mabel laughed, “This is probably the last time me and Robert will ever go out on a date.”

Blonde Jokes? Star if your laughed! Star if you laughed!

Is this style of writing any good? because I write for fun I try all sorts of styles and genres, this is my latest attempt. (1) Aitch Diamond lay on his maroon leather settee watching reflections of passing cars strobe raindrops on the window. The Grandfather clock in the lobby struck eight, moving him languidly to the bathroom. By a quarter past eight he had washed, shaved and dressed and brewed a cup of sugarless coffee. When Shaz Green opened the front door at half past he was at his desk, eating buttered toast and drinking his second coffee. “Morning Aitch.” He glanced over brown framed spectacles. “Mornin’ Shaz.” Shaz, wide eyed peered around the room that was half office, half Aitch’s living room. . “God what a mess. It’ll take a week to clean this place.” Aitch gazed about him, surprised. “It’s not that bad.” He protested. Shaz picked his dirty shirt, socks and pyjamas off the settee, carrying them at arms length to the laundry basket in the bathroom. Aitch gazed after her, appreciating the way her pale grey silk suit clung to her body, shimmering with every high heeled step, auburn hair curling just below the collar. He had made a pass at her when she first arrived two years ago as his new secretary, but was told in confident but friendly terms exactly what she thought of bosses who indulged in sexual harassment. He had since discovered she proved too good a secretary to lose for the passing whim of an arm round the waist. Ah well. “No post today?” He asked, watching her behind as she took two empty wine bottles to the kitchen. “It never comes before nine.” The statement was flat; no trace of impatience, though she knew he was aware that the postman called as regular as Grandfather’s Clock in the lobby. She glanced at him, scouring the room for more mess. “Nothing to do?” “Not much. I did Alan Dawson’s report, and written what I’ve done so far on the McDonald case. It’s all down to you now. It’s on your desk. He said. Her desk, smaller than his own, sat at discreet right angles to his in the corner opposite the kitchen, under a blown up sepia photograph of his grandfather. “You haven’t made a start yet on that industrial espionage case.” Shaz commented. “No. I know I haven’t. It’s only a small firm. The director’s probably put his papers in a safe place and forgotten where he’s put them.” Shaz turned away from him to press the computer button. Aitch opened his laptop and began to play solitaire. He pressed ‘mute’ so that Shaz couldn’t hear ‘Boo’ when he lost a game. He always did but she knew about the solitaire anyway. At nine o’clock Shaz collected the post. Four ordinary letters and a telephone bill which she opened first. She frowned. “Have you been ringing porn lines?” “What?” “There’s a lot of 090 numbers on this.” “Porn?” “That’s what 090 numbers usually are.” “Definitely not. Emphatically not.” Said Aitch. “They’ve got it wrong. Write to the phone people.” “I will.” Lips tightly pursed, face severe. The next letter held a cheque for three hundred pounds. It’s time he paid up. It must be three months since I finished that job.” He complained. Shaz took the letters and cheque to her desk. “Haven’t you got somewhere to go?” She asked pointedly. He looked at her, his face blank. “Mrs…..Mrs Alston. In Bury.” He glanced at his watch. “Gotta go.” The front door slammed and he was gone. In the car he went over the brief. ‘Mrs Alston. Burgled two weeks ago. Antique ornaments stolen. Nothing else. Covered by insurance. But her silver victorian hairdressing set is of high sentimental value.’ Aitch pulled a face. Not much chance of finding the goods after two weeks. Still, if he put in a few hours work it would help to pay a bill, and every little bit counts in this depression. He thought. Why did they keep calling it recession? It’s plain as Grandad that we’ve had recession most of the time since the eighties. When it’s too low to be recession it must be depression. Stands to reason. Reason meant that thinking of something else almost caused him to dent the back of the vintage Ford ahead of him, he stopped quickly before a crash could cause a dent in the size of his wallet. The drive was tedious, the rain monotonously immune to his windscreen wipers. Most traffic lights were red and it seemed to Aitch that every zebra crossing held a school crocodile or an old woman with walking stick and plastic bag. On the other side of Bury the roads became lanes, other lanes hidden by trees smoked the fact that they existed; then for a while he hit a farm area and was brought to a stop by twenty sheep. He counted them as they turned right in front of him, and as the whole flock disappeared into a stone walled field a tractor came from a pair of gates ahead of him. Aitch resigned himself to following at a steady five miles an hour grateful thanks for praise and critisism On balance I think I'll carry on with this one. Jack- the name is simple really. It's just the letter H. I was looking for something that could give the character an authority as well as a devil may care attitude.

here's another one..? Hollywood lessons It does not matter if you are heavily outnumbered in a fight involving martial arts: your enemies will wait patiently to attack you one by one, dancing around in a threatening manner until you have knocked out their predecessors. Honest and hard-working policemen are traditionally gunned down three days before their retirement. All beds have special L-shaped sheets that reach the armpit level of a woman, but only the waist level of the man lying beside her. At least one of a pair of identical twins is born evil. Most laptop computers are powerful enough to override the communications system of any invading alien society. All grocery bags contain at least one stick of French bread. Rather than wasting bullets, megalomaniacs prefer to kill their arch enemies using complicated machinery involving fuses, pulley systems, deadly gasses, lasers, and man-eating sharks, which will allow their captives at least a half-hour to escape. You're very likely to survive any battle in any war unless you make the mistake of showing someone a picture of your sweetheart back home. A man will show no pain while taking the most ferocious beating, but will wince when a woman tries to clean his wounds. If a large pane of glass is visible, someone will be thrown through it before long. If staying in a haunted house, women should investigate any strange noises in their most revealing underwear. Even when driving down a perfectly straight road, it is necessary to turn the steering wheel vigorously from left to right every few moments. All bombs are fitted with electronic timing devices with large red readouts so you know exactly when they're going to go off, but luckily you'll always blindly choose to cut the right wire. A detective can only solve a case once he has been suspended from duty. Police departments give their officers personality tests to make sure they are deliberately assigned a partner who is their total opposite. oh come on!

Would you read my short story, please? “We have just received news that the famed Aberlock meteorite is-“ The women reporter was cut off as the screen began to project cerulean light. The screen had changed; it was now a blue display with white text sprawled on its surface, no doubt a government message. “Urgent notice: The Aberlock meteorite has abruptly changed its course and is now heading towards earth. The meteorite’s impact will likely destroy the earth. Citizens are advised to stay indoors, and if possible, a bunker or safe house. The meteorite will breach Earth’s atmosphere in an estimated twenty minutes.” Lisa turned off the T.V. in disbelief. The Aberlock meteorite had been in the news for some time now, but never in that context. Virtually the entire world knew about the Aberlock meteorite. It was named after Mark Aberlock, the astrologist who first discovered it and had since dedicated every waking moment to its study. Unfortunately, in the wake of man’s arrogance, the possibility of it steering so close to Earth had been preliminarily dismissed. She ignored her shock for a moment to dissect the message. “Citizens are advised to stay indoors, and if possible, a bunker or safe house.” She scoffed. Apparently, as there was no solution to Earth’s impending destruction, the government had resorted to passing out utterly useless advice. One last chuckle escaped her, before a dawning realization hit here. She was going to die in; she looked at her watch, roughly seventeen minutes. Every particle of her being was buzzing; she was scared. Grabbing her coat although it would be completely ineffectual, she let herself out onto her front porch and ran five lawns down to her neighbor Jane’s house, who also happened to be her best friend. Before she sped through Jane’s door, Lisa looked at her watch again. They had fifteen minutes. Prof. Charles Rivington sat unmoving on his swivel chair, staring sullenly at his computer screen. He had fifteen minutes. Fifteen minutes before his laptop melted, fifteen minutes before his beloved texts and papers were incinerated, and fifteen minutes before he and all his students were blown away into the deathly inferno that was to be. But all was quiet now, and he was alone; eerily, and depressingly alone. He was never one to seek companionship or cultivate social skills, and it frequently showed. Even his best students disliked him; claiming amidst swirling rumors that he was cold, aloof, and generally disagreeable. He stood up suddenly, and resolved to spend his last minutes enjoying one thing he loved; tea. It was fitting, almost amusing, how in one moment his world was filled with pulsing thoughts of papers to grade and bills to pay, and in the next his life’s only dilemma was what type of tea to drink. Just as he was taking out his mug, a knock sounded. Bewildered, he opened his office door. A girl stood there with her face flushed; a book bag was strapped across her shoulder. He let out a deep sigh; it wasn’t the explosion after all, just one of his students. Not one of the best ones, but certainly one of the most brilliant. Kristen Greene was her name. He decided just then that he would begin doing what he should have done for years. He decided he would be nice. “Professor, I-“ the girl started. He held up a hand, “Miss Greene, won’t you come in for some tea?” She smiled, and the Professor pondered how long it had been since he had last seen the pearls of anyone’s mouth directed at him. Too long, he decided, and never in such a sincere way. She accepted his invitation, bringing the faintest flicker of a smile to his lips with her response. “Professor, I’d love to. I have ten minutes, at any rate”. Elaine rushed to the plaza, for the first time leaving her brimming shopping cart, with all her possessions behind. She was poorly clad; dressed in rags and jackets, and any other manner of clothing she had found. She burst into the grocery store Gourmet Selection, the place she had always wanted to go to. Often, she had dreams of being rich and comfortable. Dreams in which she could buy anything in Gourmet Selection, or even the entire store if she so desired. Picking up her dragging blazer, she ran like a rampaging raccoon through the store wanting only to get to one place; the bakery. The woman working there had her arms crossed on the cool, clear cover of the counter, resting in defeat. Elaine stepped up to her, “Excuse me, excuse me!” she chirped. The woman gazed at her with a gloomy eye. “Yes?” she asked wearily. “I’d like a slice of your best chocolate ganache.” “That would be our Belgian chocolate truffle cake.” The woman informed her, “Did you not hear the news?” “Oh, I heard the news.” Elaine replied happily, “I just couldn’t care less.” The woman handed her a large slice of cake and a fork, and Elaine sat down at a small table across from the counter. She began to dig in. It was easily the most delicious thing she had ever tasted in her entire life. Rich, creamy, sumptuou s…she paused. “Why don’t you have some?” she asked the woman. The woman looked surprised for a minute, and then a hearty laugh rumbled from under her baker’s frock. “Why then, I suppose I will.” Serving herself a slice, the woman sat down next to Elaine. They ate their cake in silence, savoring every morsel. “That was-” the woman began. “Delicious!” Elaine finished. The bakery woman looked at the clock, they had five minutes. “Well, how about some more?” Lisa and Jane had decided to spend the rest of their lives, five minutes, outside. It was beautiful, tauntingly gorgeous. The sky was a brilliant blue shade, it was warm, and everything glistened with the sun’s kisses. In just a couple minutes, the sky would change, and they would see the signs of the meteorite. For now however, everything was peaceful. They both lay on the grass with their eyes closed; they didn’t want to see it when it came. Laying there in temporary bliss, Lisa had one realization which she wished to convey to her friend. Before the words fully escape her lips however, a light blinded her, and Lisa and Jane were swept up in the fiery wind of their final defeat. In that moment, their world, which had taken oceans of blood and tears to create, was reduced to dust, and the only thing to be heard was the faint whisper of a woman’s last thought; ignorance is bliss. Robert S, what do you mean "where it ends and where it begins"? If you are referring to the annoying stops in the writing, that's because it wouldn't let me post everything at once. You might have been looking at it when a part of it was missing, as I had to add twice to it.

The shortest, strangest survey/quiz ever!? Copy the questions and answer so I know what everyone is answering to. 1. What would you have liked your name to be? 2. How many times do you eat a day? 3. Do you take these intresting quizzes a lot? 4. Do you have a laptop or computer? 5. Which kind is it? (Can be found on the top of the laptop or monitor's bottom left corner) 6. Would you ever pick out a few clothes that you like for someone else? 7. What is the most recent store you visited? 8. How long does it take you to finish these quizzes? 9. Do you celebrate the U.S holidays or others? 10. What was the most recent book that you read? 11. What's your favorite television show? 12. What kind of music do you listen to? 13. What presidential canidate would you have voted for? (If none, skip) 14. Do you play video games? 15. Cookies or cake? 16. Ice cream or muffins? 17. Vegan, vegetarian, or meat-eater? 18. What's your favorite color? 19. What do you do when you're bored? 20. How long does it take you to study your schoolwork? (Or work-work, if you have a job) 21. How many times a day do you get onto the computer? 22. What did you have for breakfast? 23. What is your favorite number? 24. What is your favorite genre of movies? (Etc. Horror, romance) 25. Do you have HD for your television? 26. Do you have HD for your radio? 27. Do you think HD is silly? (High Definetion= HD) 28. Pencils or pens? 29. What is the weather like where you live? 30. Do you live in the country, city, part way of both, or tropical? 31. What is your favorite thing to do after you wake up? 32. What is the most embarassing thing that ever happened to you? 33. What is one thing you dislike about the opposite gender? 34. Have you traveled around the world? 35. Have you met an famous actor/actress, activist, writer, artist, etc.? 36. What job do you have/what job do you want to have? 37. Did you see Twilight in theaters? 38. Have you ever shoplifted? 39. Have you ever killed someone? 40. Do you have a pet? 41. Do you have a music playlist? 42. Do you know what anime is? 43. What do you think of China? 44. What do you think of the U.S? 45. What do you think of Mexico? 46. Have you ever sang in the shower/tub? 47. Do you know what cosplay is? 48. What is 11x11? 49. Can you speak more than one language? 50. If so, which ones? (If not, skip) 51. Did you like the 70s/Do you like the 70s? 52. What was your favorite decade? 53. What is your favorite website? 54. Do you play a musical instrument? 55. Paper bag or plastic bag? 56. Straight, gay, bisexual, or lesbian? 57. Are you somewhat cold-hearted? 58. Do you fall and trip a lot? 59. Do you use your body to look attractive? (Etc. men's abs and face, women's legs and.. bust.) 60. Do you shave? You have finished! I made it short so you wouldn't get overwhemled by all the questions. :)

Do you think he cheated? Ok me and my boyfriend have been together since i was 14 and he was 15 he never cheated on me when we were really young.At least he didn't act like it. We have 2 babies i had my first baby in 2006 it was a high risk pregnancy and we still lived with our parents but he was always there for me. Then we raised our baby happily he moved in to live with me cuz his parents moved back to ny and he didnt want to go. Finally when our baby turned one we got our own apt. for a while we were fine but then we started having somearguments cuz we were learning how hard life really was on your own. Then (i know very irresponsible but what can i do now) ibecame pregnant again but now itwas dangerous because i had scar tissue in my urethra from the c-section ihad with my first child so it was really hard for me to empty my bladder and i had to stop going to work and school to take care with my higher risk pregnancy.I had recurrent infections and had to take antibiotics all the time. We had to move to a 2 bedroom apt now because we needed space and he was really stubborn cuz u know i understand it was hard to pay all the bills by yourself. so we looked for a roomate and he found an old friend that was his uncles friend too he was young too but he did drugs and drank beer alot and always hung around bad people and was always messing with different kinds of women. Now that was bad for my baby i had already and me but i couldnt do nothing. Since then weve been having so much arguments he changed COMPLETELY with me and he even told me to move to my grandmas house for a while until i gave birth. So i left because i neede some rest toobut he stopped calling me coming to see me helping me out with the doctor visits.So i knew something was going on. I cried and cried everyday asking him why what did i ever do to him and all he said was that it's just notthe same anymore that he was young and he needed to live his life. Like his roommate had told him. I guess since hewas so stressed he figured he'd listen to his roommate and do everyhting he was doing. The same day i was having my c-section 7 weeks early because of premature rupture of the water bag. he was late to the c-section. hebrought a nice like 500 dollar stroller and all kinds of expensive things. I asked him where did u getthis stuff from and he said " a friend". Lies! Then when i had to leave the hospital a month later because of complications in my bladder he disappered for a week and his phone was turned off the whole week. I had a delixcate 5 pound premature baby i was scared needed help and he was nowhere to be found. I cried fainted that week it was too much stress for me he had never done this to me before. So i figuredhe was cheating on me but i just couldnt believe it! It hurt so bad!And at a very difficult time in my life if it wasn'tfor the lord and my family I would not have been able to take care of my baby she's smaller now at 2 months but she's doing alright. So later after everytime i called himj he turned off his phone ignored me when he came to see the babies he wouldnt even glanceat me and everytime i talked to him he would look away or down like with a guilty feeling. he never wanted me togo to my house for anything. He used to go to the movies late at night at 12:00 he used to stay working late 4 hours supposedbly.Until one day i saw a name on his phone "AMANDA" and he said it was his roomamte's friend but she kept on calling and i saw him hang up the phone, A month later he started hugging me wanting to have intercourse again and the stupid idiot even asked me if we could just be friends with benefits i slapped him and told him to get out. One day I caught him.Hecalled me earlyin the morning cuz the new baby had her first appt. he said he couldnt make it that his car broke down that amanda (the roommate's friend) had to lend him her car WHAT a idiot! So without him knowing i went with my mom to my house and i climbed through the window in my room and i saw girl's pants on the floor shirt bag towel and a pillow and blanket on my bed. I looked under the bed and our family picture was hidden under the bed. I screamed and ran to the living with room there was 3 christmas stockings and the middle one was supposed to be mine and it said AMANDA and then on MY couch there was a chubby caucasian girl and she screamed and she had pajamas on. I pulled her hair andthrew the laptop on her head ( i know stupid) and he started crying i couldn't believe it. I pushed him and i ran out of there as fast as i could screaming and crying when suddenly everyhting went black. I woke up at home i had fainted cause the shock i was sweating like cold. Buti just couldnt believe it i couldnt even talk. My heart was broken what i feared most had happened to me. That night when i was calmer he called and said I'm sorry"crying and that he loved me. I hung up on him even though i still loved him can you believe he said it was all a misunderstanding that he never cheated on me he acted

Please read and help? This is a little something i've been working on. i know the idea is a but played out, but i just wanted to try it out. Please read it and give any suggestions that might help “Ah, Doctor, I was just finishing up here!” said the woman. She was wearing a white lab coat and had her hair tied up in a bun. The doctor noticed that bags under her eyes. “You haven’t been sleeping at all, have you?” said a man. He was in his mid-forties, grey hair, and stern face. The man walked down the steps and took a look around. It was a laboratory. To his right were tables with bottled fluid. There were also many high-tech machines that constantly buzzed and beeped. To his left was even more equipment. But there was something else there. They were giant case-like tubes. The tubes reached from floor to the ceiling and have massive cables coming and out leading to something that resembled a power generator. The inside of the tube was filled with an orange substance. Floating inside was something, something unlike anything on earth. The man stepped up to the tube and gazed inside. “Has the subject shown any sign of mental activity?” he asked still gazing inside. “We thought there was a spike earlier, but it turned out to be a false alarm.” What is it that you’re doing? The man thought to himself. The woman, who was sitting at a computer, suddenly looked at her screen. She began typing furiously. “Dr Cavil! Look at this!” The doctor came to where she was. “Wha…” he began, and she pointed at the screen. At first there was nothing there but a single line. Then, many spikes began appearing, thousands of them by the second. So it’s finally awake He thought. “Initiate emergency procedures. Begin draining the hyrdo components. On my count, maximize generator power!” He commanded. There was a thud sound that came from behind. Dr. Cavil looked back and saw nothing but the lights from the floor panels. Thud. There it was again. He scanned the room. It hit him. The sound was coming from the case. Another thud, then the sound of cracking glass. The doctor stepped forward. Damn, the glass is cracking! “Initiate Deco Red! Insert the magnesium NOW! He shouted and hurried to the case. “Initiating Deco Red now. Inserting the magnesium.” But it was too late. The pressure of the orange substance forced the crack wider until it burst. Its contents spilled out onto the floor, preventing any light from getting through. Then, what was floating inside stepped out. What have we created? Dr. Cavil asked himself. In the following moment, he was torn to sheds. I work to long to be getting paid this low wages thought the security guard. He was standing next to a set of Double doors with steel hinges that shined from the ceiling lights. It was quiet in the corridor. There wasn’t a lot to do down there. Whirring and buzzing could be heard from the other side of the doors. The guard looked at the monitor in front of him and saw that someone was coming. Dr. Cavil rounded the corner and came down the corridor. “Dr.Cavil!” said the guard while swiveling in his chair to face the doctor. “Is Ms. Ashwood still in there?” he asked. “Yeah, been in there for a while. I knocked to see if you she was ok, and she said she was fine.” “I see.” He said. The doctor moved to the doors and they slid open without a sound. He stepped in and the doors shut again. Returning to his monitors, he watched the empty hallways for while. Then there was a thud. And then came the sound of glass shattering. The guard stood up and rapped the door, “Everything ok in there, Dr. Cavil?” No response. He banged again “Dr. Cavil?!” Still no response. Slowly, the guard took the pistol from his side and opened the door. There was blood everywhere, on the walls, on the floor. The equipment was fried. Cautiously, he stepped in-side. “Dr. Cavil…?” Something moved in the shadows. “Who’s there???” It moved again. “Show yourself” he said raising his weapon. Whatever it was, it hurried down the edge of the lab and through the doors. In the brief moment, when the light was on it, the guard realized it wasn’t a who, but rather a what. Quiet. That’s what it was like in the small cabin. A bunk bed to the left, and a table with a lamp to the right. The man lying in bed had his hands behind his head was lost in thought. His face looked as if he was in pain. In his mind, flashbacks reeled: A dark room, a chair in the center. A man was in the chair. His face was covered in blood and sweat. The person seemed to call out to him. Help me, help me. The man started to fade and get farther and farther away… He shook his head. Reaching for the cloth on the bedside table, he got up and wiped his face. That’s the third time this week, he thought. He got up and looked around. I really should clean this place up. The floor was littered with various items ranging from a yogurt cup to a laptop computer. He bent down and picked up name tag that read Kurt Mendez, Head of Defense and Protection. He held it in his hand and stared. Why are we even here…in a place like this? He thought, It’s not like anyway would want to come here. Little did he know that his purpose was not to protect them from outside intrusions, but to protect them from what was inside... “Sir, the press is outside…again. They refuse to leave. What should I tell them?” An important man in an expensive suit said this. He walked toward another man sitting behind a desk. Behind him, floor to ceiling windows looked out onto

Would you care to read this short story? This is just something I thought of today and wrote for amusement. I figured some people here on Yahoo! Answers might just be bored enough to read it and would offer some opinions on it. I posted this earlier today, but through a rather embarrassing mishap the question was mistakenly deleted. On that note, there was a brilliant user with a very helpful and informative response who has my deepest apologies. I don't plan on doing anything with this really, besides enjoying it for what it is; a story and a way to improve my writing. In any case, please let me know what you think. “We have just received news that the famed Aberlock meteorite is-“ The women reporter was cut off as the screen began to project cerulean light. The screen had changed; it was now a blue display with white text sprawled on its surface, no doubt a government message. “Urgent notice: The Aberlock meteorite has abruptly changed its course and is now heading towards earth. The meteorite’s impact will likely destroy the earth. Citizens are advised to stay indoors, and if possible, a bunker or safe house. The meteorite will breach Earth’s atmosphere in an estimated twenty minutes.” Lisa turned off the T.V. in disbelief. The Aberlock meteorite had been in the news for some time now, but never in that context. Virtually the entire world knew about the Aberlock meteorite. It was named after Mark Aberlock, the astrologist who first discovered it and had since dedicated every waking moment to its study. Unfortunately, in the wake of man’s arrogance, the possibility of it steering so close to Earth had been preliminarily dismissed. She ignored her shock for a moment to dissect the message. “Citizens are advised to stay indoors, and if possible, a bunker or safe house.” She scoffed. Apparently, as there was no solution to Earth’s impending destruction, the government had resorted to passing out utterly useless advice. One last chuckle escaped her, before a dawning realization hit here. She was going to die in; she looked at her watch, roughly seventeen minutes. Every particle of her being was buzzing; she was scared. Grabbing her coat although it would be completely ineffectual, she let herself out onto her front porch and ran five lawns down to her neighbor Jane’s house, who also happened to be her best friend. Before she sped through Jane’s door, Lisa looked at her watch again. They had fifteen minutes. Prof. Charles Rivington sat unmoving on his swivel chair, staring sullenly at his computer screen. He had fifteen minutes. Fifteen minutes before his laptop melted, fifteen minutes before his beloved texts and papers were incinerated, and fifteen minutes before he and all his students were blown away into the deathly inferno that was to be. But all was quiet now, and he was alone; eerily, and depressingly alone. He was never one to seek companionship or cultivate social skills, and it frequently showed. Even his best students disliked him; claiming amidst swirling rumors that he was cold, aloof, and generally disagreeable. He stood up suddenly, and resolved to spend his last minutes enjoying one thing he loved; tea. It was fitting, almost amusing, how in one moment his world was filled with pulsing thoughts of papers to grade and bills to pay, and in the next his life’s only dilemma was what type of tea to drink. Just as he was taking out his mug, a knock sounded. Bewildered, he opened his office door. A girl stood there with her face flushed; a book bag was strapped across her shoulder. He let out a deep sigh; it wasn’t the explosion after all, just one of his students. Not one of the best ones, but certainly one of the most brilliant. Kristen Greene was her name. He decided just then that he would begin doing what he should have done for years. He decided he would be nice. “Professor, I-“ the girl started. He held up a hand, “Miss Greene, won’t you come in for some tea?” She smiled, and the Professor pondered how long it had been since he had last seen the pearls of anyone’s mouth directed at him. Too long, he decided, and never in such a sincere way. She accepted his invitation, bringing the faintest flicker of a smile to his lips with her response. “Professor, I’d love to. I have ten minutes, at any rate”. Elaine rushed to the plaza, for the first time leaving her brimming shopping cart, with all her possessions behind. She was poorly clad; dressed in rags and jackets, and any other manner of clothing she had found. She burst into the grocery store Gourmet Selection, the place she had always wanted to go to. Often, she had dreams of being rich and comfortable. Dreams in which she could buy anything in Gourmet Selection, or even the entire store if she so desired. Picking up her dragging blazer, she ran like a rampaging raccoon through the store wanting only to get to one place; the bakery. The woman working there had her arms crossed on the cool, clear cover of the counter, resting in defeat. Elaine stepped

how to succeed in Holywood? 1: It does not matter if you are heavily outnumbered in a fight involving martial arts: your enemies will wait patiently to attack you one by one, dancing around in a threatening manner until you have knocked out their predecessors. 2:Honest and hard-working policemen are traditionally gunned down three days before their retirement. 3:All beds have special L-shaped sheets that reach the armpit level of a woman, but only the waist level of the man lying beside her. 4:At least one of a pair of identical twins is born evil. 5:Most laptop computers are powerful enough to override the communications system of any invading alien society. 6:All grocery bags contain at least one stick of French bread. 7:Rather than wasting bullets, megalomaniacs prefer to kill their arch enemies using complicated machinery involving fuses, pulley systems, deadly gasses, lasers, and man-eating sharks, which will allow their captives at least a half-hour to escape. 6:You're very likely to survive any battle in any war unless you make the mistake of showing someone a picture of your sweetheart back home. 7:A man will show no pain while taking the most ferocious beating, but will wince when a woman tries to clean his wounds. 8:If a large pane of glass is visible, someone will be thrown through it before long. 9:If staying in a haunted house, women should investigate any strange noises in their most revealing underwear. 10:Even when driving down a perfectly straight road, it is necessary to turn the steering wheel vigorously from left to right every few moments. 11:All bombs are fitted with electronic timing devices with large red readouts so you know exactly when they're going to go off, but luckily you'll always blindly choose to cut the right wire. 12:A detective can only solve a case once he has been suspended from duty. some rules for holywood, Any more you can think of, 10 points to the best, or the most LOLOLOLOLOLs

My dad is cheating on my mom what should I do? Hi, around 1 month ago my dads computer crashed and he had to use my laptop. I checked his history on my laptop and found out that he made an email on yahoo that he was using to message girls about having sex. He goes on craigslist.com and finds ads about women looking for sex and then emails them and calls them. Everyday he calls some Hispanic women and talks to her about meeting with her and when to pick her up. I spy on him a lot and throw water balloons and fart bombs at him when he does talk to whores like her on the phone. I am getting seriously pissed off at him because my mom is a great and caring women. He also has a drinking problem.He drinks around 2 bottles of wine a day and acts like an idiot. He also never does anything around the house when he gets home from work, my mom has work and she cleans the house and does a lot of chores. I'm getting tired of ignoring what I found out what my dad is doing and want to end this bs. I want to approach my dad and confront him abut this issue but I'm too afraid to do it. And a few weeks ago I saw an email where he said he would pay $50-$100 for bl0w-j0b. I was thinking about calling the police because isn't that prostitution?And our air conditioner broke and we can't afford it right now. Probably because that d-bag is buying oral sex all the time. I really hate my dad now. I ignore him,act coldly to him and I really don't give a shyt.Sorry for such a long convo but I just wanted to vent and I just need some advice. Thanks for your help, Ryan Btw~ I am a 15 year old sophmore if that helps... SUMMARY FOR THOSE WHO DON'T WANT A WALL OF TEXT~ My dad is cheatig on my mom by using craigslist.com to look for sex.He calls up women hours each day and hides when ever I come by him. I am afraid to confront him with this issue but I am getting seriously pissed off at him and want to punch him in the face. Please help me out on what to do! Thanks, Ryan

What on earth inspired this dream? I was a guy, about 18-20 years old . Kinda average looking, short, no extra weight but not thin. There was this campus that was part shopping mall, part university, part learning hospital. I was some kind of tech whiz (I'm not really) and kept using rollerblades to go wherever I needed to get to, carrying this backpack that had a laptop and some accessories in it. It was not heavy. At one point, there was a trip to a home. In the loft apartment were some black and white paintings. Very nicely done, but they were black and white. Some were done by me, but one was not familiar at all and it interested me very much. It had a girl's face on it, a face from a picture I saw on a story about a state representative not wanting to fund summer meals for kids. Even my dream character thought it was whack. When I went up to it to see what other stuff was in the painting (it was done in the fashion of a famous Obama painting, not much background detail at all), a guy and two gals came up to me and wanted my SD cards. I told them No way and looked for an escape. The escape suddenly appeared in the form of this water slide or luge (without water) looking thing that twisted down and out of the building, into a basement studio. I went down it and they didn't. Don't know why. There was a guy in the studio who was waiting for me to give him what I had on the SD cards. He was on my side. I asked him about foundations to help people like that girl and he told me I'd have to start one myself if that state representative gets her wish. (This is all a mish mash of things that doesn't really fit together.) He liked the work, but expected the people to come after me for it and I was asking him why they won't leave me alone and he said, Why do you think they won't? Like I should know. I wasn't sarcastic or upset acting in the dream. I was that kinda "sweet" pleasant acting person who people think is dumb or fake for not acting more aggressively about people picking at me. So I just didn't respond and tried to figure out how to get to the learning hospital without those people accosting me and taking away my work equipment. Finally they started to come down the slide and I went out a door. One of the guys came up to me and started taunting me with his machete-like item, acting as though he'd get my backpack off with it or "accidentally" slice me. I kept going till I was in one of the rooms with the plastic anatomically correct body that breaks apart so you can examine it, the guy keeps making snide remarks about my background (what my dad and mom do for a living, for example) and then a surprise happens. He just stops being there. I'm left to hold the pieces of the anatomically correct body, examining, waiting for the guy to reappear and his friends to be with him. A woman comes in who is apparently my guy character's really good friend and says she is breaking up coz those people will never leave me alone, and it is tiresome to always worry about sabotage, pranks, and possibly worse. I tell her to just go then while she is still talking and a professor comes in and says Anyone who is not a student needs to leave right now coz I'm not getting paid to babysit. I don't remember doing anything in the shopping mall; it was just part of the campus with people coming in and out with shopping bags. I'm 29, female, and you can get other info from my bioblock. :D Forgot to say, have been this guy in dreams before, but the last time I remember it, I was 23 and two days later...well...nothing like I am right now...sorry to be vague.... Have also recently been having dreams of being in a university, looking forfamiliar people to talk to. Keeps happening, with more than one person ending up as the familiar person I eventually find, but I always keep searching too. It's weird enough to bug me, coz I'd like good dreams or story dreams or inspiring dreams, not this junior high stuff.

Please take a look at my question, i need serious help i think im having a breakdown seriously? Im in a feel fix, I love my bf more than anything and he says that he loves me. But during the time we have been together i have never been hurt of cried so much. His mum is interferring, he's 30 and she takes his car keys off him, his phone, his bank card and his laptop so he can't contact me. She is like the woman off psycho, she is totally deranged. When im there she is so nice, but behind my back she says she hates me. She has a big financial hold on my bf and the other night she forced him to sit there and ring me to say he wants a break from me. Apparantley when i phoned him later on he said that she was loving my tears and saying "you did good there son". I have tried to split up with him over it all even though i love him so much but i physically can't do it, i start to shake and i get uncontrolable tears and i start looking for ways to end my life. Sounds mental doesnt it? I just don;t know what to do with my life anymore. I don't want to continue. He came down last night and i tried to finish with him because he isnt putting his foot down with his mum but he cried and we just realised that we cant let her win. He was supposed to come down to mine after uni at 2 today but he never showed up and both his phones are turned off and i havent been able to reach him via the internet. I cant relax, im a bag of nerves and i need some serious help. I am so stressed that i have completely missed a menstrual period, im meant to start again today but i havent (oh and by the way im not pregnant, had a blood test done the other day). He told me that when he got home the other night from mine his mum had left him a note saying "**** you for choosing her over me, go and **** yourself how dare you blank me, i have loved you for 30 years alot longer than she has". She has this massive financial hold over him. She has threatened to rip my face off and disfigure me. She has five children, her youngest daughter has a baby and she cant see it because the babues father hates her. She has a son, and when she went down to her sons house over christmas her sons gf who is a nurse went for her twice. She is just horrible. Please help, i have tried my best with her i even ordered her this dvd boxset from ebay that she has been wanting for so long because i want her to accept me. But when she hid his car keys that was the last straw and i had a big row with her down the phone. I just dont know what to do, there is one miserable woman writing this question right now and she needs serious help:(

please read and tell me what you think..? hello. im not sure whether to carry on with this book.. i dont no if there are too many similar out there already, please tell me what you think.. honestly i wont be offended it only took me about 15minutues!! I heard the front door shut. I rushed to look out my bedroom window and watched my parents pull off the drive. Sat for a moment and pondered my thoughts then jumped up with glee, ran down the stairs and out to my car opened the boot and stood and stared. Shit I thought. What have I done!! I looked onward half in horror and half in shock at what lay in my boot, then a big smile spread across my face. What lay in my boot was my big dirty secret, my addiction, the thing I thought about every spare minute of the day, the thing I couldn’t be alone and bored without committing again and again and again. What lay in my boot at this precise moment was a box of shoes, 2 gorgeous new tops, a fantastic cardigan that I just had to have, some chocolates to die for, an amazing new clutch bag and a bottle of wine. This may not seem like much, but my secret stash was only a dribble of my problem. Which items to take in the house I thought? Hmm I think ill go for the 2 tops and the clutch bag. Yes!! Decision made I picked up the items and ran inside the house. Having a shopping addiction is like being an alcoholic or a drug abuser. I don’t just buy clothes I buy food, makeup, cutlery MUGS! Notepads anything I can get my hands on that’s half interesting. If you left me in a mud shop that sold all different varieties of mud, I would find a reason to buy a certain type of mud. And then of course I would keep it in my boot for a month and then sneak it into the house and hide it under the bed for another month until eventually realising why the hell have I brought this mud and of course it being too late to take back it would sit under my bed for years to come then eventually go into a charity bag. This is what happens with some of the other stuff I buy. Sometimes get worn once, others a few times but mostly not at all. I sometimes wish a little elf would follow me about and collect up everything after a week and take it all back, this way I would have still had the enjoyment of buying these things, but none of the expense. You may have noticed I still live at home from the start of my story; this is because I cannot afford to move out. So right here right now late on a Saturday night I have decided to write and live, the story of giving up my shopping addiction. The voice in my head is thinking, hey don’t be stupid, start this next week, you see I am going to London on Tuesday. But I see this is something that should start now so here goes… I sit and survey the 2 new tops on my bed. You see both tops are actually fantastic and I do really like them both, usually I only half like the items and its more the buying them that I like. I try the tops on one after another and then again. No I decide I deserve these two tops if I am going to give up buying other things. I sigh and lean back. This is not working out quite as I planned!! I really need to get this sorted before my debt spirals out of control. Will these two tops change my life? No But they are so pretty! I felt like slapping myself in the face. Have some will power woman. But they are so pretty I said to the voice in my head again. I need to win the lottery I thought. This often being the answer to all my problems. I considered switching off my word document and clicking to the internet to purchase a ticket, and then stopped, so does this count as shopping. Yes it does Does it count? I decided I would think about this as it was only Saturday night and I had until Wednesday to make my harrowing decision, and by then my plan to bid my shopping addiction might have passed by then so it would probably be okay. I glanced back up at the two tops lay on my bed behind the laptop screen. An then thought to myself of my new laptop which would be arriving Monday, and smiled to myself, I had gone for the prettiest laptop I could find, a Vivienne tam notebook, probably not the most practical but hey if I was going to give up shopping and write about it I better do it in style!!

what is the name of these crimes and the kind of criminal suspect in each senerio? 1)a gunman holds a pistol to the side of a woman's head and one arm wrapped around the woman's neck and the other arm holding the pistol to the side of the woman's head 2)a person stays at a 30 level story toy store after hours come out of your hiding spot in the store at 3 a.m. go behind a counter open a cash register and donation box(filled with cash) and steal money from the cash register and donation box by putting and stuffing the cash in a bag you carried with you and eventually empty the cash register and donation box 3)one guy enters through a open window of a portable classroom on a elementary school premises and does the same with two other protable classrooms next door and steals the teacher's laptop,VCR and DVD player

would this story hold up in court? September 25 2009 8:30am I set trap of putting my bed sheets at the end of my bed to touch the floor on both my and my brothers beds. I did this to determine if the maintenance guy would try and access my laptop which was placed under. 10:50 I got off of school early because class was cancelled. 11:30 I walk into apartment #11 at this time “the maintenance guy” is in the kitchen as I walk in the door is open. He says “I just got here” as he was breathing very hard sweating and was shaking. By this time I know something is up by his deceptive body language but what he doesn’t know is that I set a trap for him. I look at the beds and to my avail I found that the sheets were not as I had put them but half way up the bed. 11:40 I start to clean my room as I do this I start ripping up receipts and bank statements. Some of my statements were in my top dresser droor. I quickly look through them and one had a piece missing from it. Then I put the file in which they were stored into a bag with other random items in the closet so he could not find them. 12 I go back into the kitchen to help him. Im also at this time trying to social engineer. I find out he’s from south Africa. He had only been working at the apartments exclusively a week. He really doesn’t work at the apartments a lot. I also noticed he would like to show up when we were not there. It took him along time to do the job three simple tasks took him predicted three days to finish. 12:15 phone call It was a friend whom im expecting to be the other maintenance guy to notify him of my departure. He encoded some info that I quickly decoded. The day before I told him that I use to work for my friends dad in apartment renovations. I also told him that he was a multimillionaire. He said he cant go to the strip club with his multimillionaire boss because he was busy. The time frame he said was three hours which was the time that I left to work to the time my brother came home. I decoded strip as to take and multimillionaire boss was my room. He also stated that he had gone to the hospital and the bills were 6000 dollars. I asked him why he didn’t cut work to go he said that it was another boss. He paused in this sentence to think. Another form of deception. Then we went to the bathroom where he put clr into the shower and bath. He said that it would take two hours to clear. Who was going to be there in two hours when it was done. no one. I also noticed he didn’t have a wedding ring on which lead me to believe that he was not trustworthy because a woman doesn’t even trust him enough to marry him it sent up red flags. 1 I leave for work in suspicion 3 Leave work 3:20 I suspect that a surveillance was set in the parking lot to make the thief’s aware of my presence because when I arrived home the tools in the bathroom were still there. 4 As im am standing at a bus stop on ivy and century a red suv goes past with a person yelling indecipherable words out the back right side window.

What is the name of these crimes and the kind of criminal for each sceniro? 1)someone a gunman is holding a gun pistol to the side of a womans head and one arm wrapped around the woman's neck 2)staying at a three level story toy store after hours come out of your hiding spot at 3 am go behind a counter open the cash register and a donation box(stuffed with cash) and steal money from the cash register and the donation box by putting it and stuffing it in a bag and eventually empty the cash register and donation box 3)enter through a open window of a portable classroom and two other portable classrooms and steal the teacher's laptop,VCR and DVD player

how can i approve my writing? please read!? i wouldn't consider my writing the bestfor my age. . . i'm 12. but i clearly wouldn't say that it is the worse. how can i change my writing syle so i'm better? thank you so much. and for your opinion what do you already think of my writing? please rate one through ten! thank you thank you and thank you! here's part of my story. The city lights twinkled, like they were perfect little stars. I sat there silently while the plane flew higher and higher into the night sky. Every once in a while I would take a silent glance out the plane window to see dozens of stars above me. All lights on earth that I saw was a beautiful piece of heaven, but I couldn’t even remember the last time I thought anything was beautiful in the world until I saw these delicate stars. The misfortune memory came back into my head as I remembered the reason why I thought nothing in this world was beautiful to me anymore. The memory contained the disturbing images of my mom lying lifeless in the brown casket. It hadn’t seemed real at all when it happened. The past came into my head as I had a reply of that small piece of my life. I had sat in the front row of her funeral and all eyes were on me, as it finally got to my head that my mother was never going to tell me life was going to be all right, when it clearly wasn’t. My brain went back into present time as I heard a woman’s voice. I hadn’t even known that I had fallen asleep until I heard the attendant’s voice speak clearly in a polite manner into the intercom. “Attention to all passengers,” there was a silent pause as people woke up from their naps and sat up to listen to the flight attendant speak, “we will be arriving in Boston in just five minutes. At this time please put away all cell phones, music containing devices, and laptops as we prepare for a safe landing. Thank you.” Everybody did what he or she was told to do, as I just sat there quietly doing absolutely nothing but watching the plane get lower and lower until it finally landed. As passengers got off the plane, I slowly got up and grabbed my bag from above me. Two pilots came out of the cockpit to say goodbye to everyone. There were hushed goodbyes and a lot of “thank you” being said, as I slowly walked forward toward the open door, leading to the airport. Looking back was hard not to do and I finally told myself that I would only take one short glance back. A male attendant in his mid-twenties saw me glancing in his direction, and he winked, thinking that I was admiring him. But I focused more on what I was really looking at. In the right back corner was a woman holding an infant. Her face was a pale peach, her silky brown chocolate hair went down to her shoulders, and her amazing eyes were a dark golden brown. She appeared to be a very beautiful woman with her shiny brown hair bouncing as she twisted and turned to keep the baby from crying. One person came into my mind as I watched her lips sing to her baby and move into a familiar song that I knew as a child. She was so much like my mom and I didn’t even know anything about her. All I knew was that her appearance looked more and more like my mother as I kept my eyes on her. The woman rocked the baby, and took one huge sigh before she glanced up to see me staring at her. I looked down, hoping that she didn’t see me turning red. I smiled to myself in advanced of me singing myself that same song, before I swiftly walked out the door. People passed and shoved past me prior to them hugging to their awaiting family and friends. But I didn’t have a family anymore or any friends. I only had my so-called father and his happy family. I hadn’t even known who my dad was until my mom’s funeral. He had sat right next to me while the priest prayed and read from the bible. As soon as the priest had said that Lizzy McDowell would like to say a few words, Max had opened his mouth and said three words in a surprised whisper, “ Oh my god.” Just the way he had spoke showed that he had no idea he had a daughter. I had risen from my seat and went to the front of the church where the priest stood. My father had stared at me and couldn’t let the sight of me go. He had never really known why my mom had disappeared from their small town in Massachusetts. But this just might put things in perspective for him. My thoughts came back into present time as I stood in the doorway of the plane I was just on. I looked around for some person that I knew. No one exactly told me whom I was going to be living with now. On the left hand side of me was an old lady walking with a cane. Wishing that I could stay with my grandmother, I looked more intently for someone I knew. I really had no idea where to look for people that I was related to. Just then someone tapped me on my shoulder and I spun around to face the person. It was the lady that I had seen on the plane. She still held her baby close to her chest. “Excuse me, but I couldn’t help to see you looking around as if couldn’t help to see you looking around as if you were looking for someone,” she paused and smiled deeply at me and then kept on talking, “ I was wondering if you needed some assistance on finding whoever it is you are looking for.” I thought of if she really could help me look for my new guardian. She stared at me, as I was deep in thought; obviously looking for an answer. I shook my head and looked down at her baby. “Thanks for the offer, but I honestly don’t know who I am looking for.” With that, the woman gave me another warm smile and went the other direction. I decided to take a break from looking, and so I walked around the airport until I found an open chair. I sat down and closed my eyes. It was a busy night at the airport. People walked around in a hurry to get where they needed to go. I could hear the seconds from a near by clock ticking from minute to minute. Tick tock tick tock. It got louder and louder and soon that was all I could hear. My eyebrows scrunched down mak making a very clear U. I couldn’t take it any longer. I covered my ears, but I still couldn’t get the ticking out of my brain. Around me, voices came and families talked to one another. There was a light tap on my shoulder and my eyes slowly opened. Standing in front of me was the man who I had met at my mother’s funeral. As he smiled a dimple in his chin showed. Just like the one I had in mine. I couldn’t believe it. This was the person I had to stay with. It was a wonder of why my mom chose my own father out of all the other family members I had. For a couple of seconds that was all I could really think of. She had hated this man, and couldn’t even think of one good thing about him. His smile gradually faded into nothing, but a line across his face. “Sorry for me having to ask this, but you are Lizzy. Right?” It was so sad that this is what it had to come to. My head went into a quick nod while I opened my mouth to speak. “Hi, dad,” two steady streams of water trickled down m

How can i approve my writing? please read!? i wouldn't consider my writing the best for my age but. . . i'm 12. i clearly wouldn't say that it is the worse either. how can i change my writing syle so i'm better? thank you so much. and for your opinion what do you already think of my writing? please rate one through ten! thank you thank you and thank you! here's part of my story. The city lights twinkled, like they were perfect little stars. I sat there silently while the plane flew higher and higher into the night sky. Every once in a while I would take a silent glance out the plane window to see dozens of stars above me. All lights on earth that I saw was a beautiful piece of heaven, but I couldn’t even remember the last time I thought anything was beautiful in the world until I saw these delicate stars. The misfortune memory came back into my head as I remembered the reason why I thought nothing in this world was beautiful to me anymore. The memory contained the disturbing images of my mom lying lifeless in the brown casket. It hadn’t seemed real at all when it happened. The past came into my head as I had a reply of that small piece of my life. I had sat in the front row of her funeral and all eyes were on me, as it finally got to my head that my mother was never going to tell me life was going to be all right, when it clearly wasn’t. My brain went back into present time as I heard a woman’s voice. I hadn’t even known that I had fallen asleep until I heard the attendant’s voice speak clearly in a polite manner into the intercom. “Attention to all passengers,” there was a silent pause as people woke up from their naps and sat up to listen to the flight attendant speak, “we will be arriving in Boston in just five minutes. At this time please put away all cell phones, music containing devices, and laptops as we prepare for a safe landing. Thank you.” Everybody did what he or she was told to do, as I just sat there quietly doing absolutely nothing but watching the plane get lower and lower until it finally landed. As passengers got off the plane, I slowly got up and grabbed my bag from above me. Two pilots came out of the cockpit to say goodbye to everyone. There were hushed goodbyes and a lot of “thank you” being said, as I slowly walked forward toward the open door, leading to the airport. Looking back was hard not to do and I finally told myself that I would only take one short glance back. A male attendant in his mid-twenties saw me glancing in his direction, and he winked, thinking that I was admiring him. But I focused more on what I was really looking at. In the right back corner was a woman holding an infant. Her face was a pale peach, her silky brown chocolate hair went down to her shoulders, and her amazing eyes were a dark golden brown. She appeared to be a very beautiful woman with her shiny brown hair bouncing as she twisted and turned to keep the baby from crying. One person came into my mind as I watched her lips sing to her baby and move into a familiar song that I knew as a child. She was so much like my mom and I didn’t even know anything about her. All I knew was that her appearance looked more and more like my mother as I kept my eyes on her. The woman rocked the baby, and took one huge sigh before she glanced up to see me staring at her. I looked down, hoping that she didn’t see me turning red. I smiled to myself in advanced of me singing myself that same song, before I swiftly walked out the door. People passed and shoved past me prior to them hugging to their awaiting family and friends. But I didn’t have a family anymore or any friends. I only had my so-called father and his happy family. I hadn’t even known who my dad was until my mom’s funeral. He had sat right next to me while the priest prayed and read from the bible. As soon as the priest had said that Lizzy McDowell would like to say a few words, Max had opened his mouth and said three words in a surprised whisper, “ Oh my god.” Just the way he had spoke showed that he had no idea he had a daughter. I had risen from my seat and went to the front of the church where the priest stood. My father had stared at me and couldn’t let the sight of me go. He had never really known why my mom had disappeared from their small town in Massachusetts. But this just might put things in perspective for him. My thoughts came back into present time as I stood in the doorway of the plane I was just on. I looked around for some person that I knew. No one exactly told me whom I was going to be living with now. On the left hand side of me was an old lady walking with a cane. Wishing that I could stay with my grandmother, I looked more intently for someone I knew. I really had no idea where to look for people that I was related to. Just then someone tapped me on my shoulder and I spun around to face the person. It was the lady that I had seen on the plane. She still held her baby close to her chest. “Excuse me, but I couldn’t help to see you looking around as if 4 hours ago - 4 days left to answer. Additional Details couldn’t help to see you looking around as if you were looking for someone,” she paused and smiled deeply at me and then kept on talking, “ I was wondering if you needed some assistance on finding whoever it is you are looking for.” I thought of if she really could help me look for my new guardian. She stared at me, as I was deep in thought; obviously looking for an answer. I shook my head and looked down at her baby. “Thanks for the offer, but I honestly don’t know who I am looking for.” With that, the woman gave me another warm smile and went the other direction. I decided to take a break from looking, and so I walked around the airport until I found an open chair. I sat down and closed my eyes. It was a busy night at the airport. People walked around in a hurry to get where they needed to go. I could hear the seconds from a near by clock ticking from minute to minute. Tick tock tick tock. It got louder and louder and soon that was all I could hear. My eyebrows scrunched down making a very clear U. I couldn’t take it any longer. I covered my ears, but I still couldn’t get the ticking out of my brain. Around me, voices came and families talked to one another. There was a light tap on my shoulder and my eyes slowly opened. Standing in front of me was the man who I had met at my mother’s funeral. As he smiled a dimple in his chin showed. Just like the one I had in mine. I couldn’t believe it. This was the person I had to stay with. It was a wonder of why my mom chose my own father out of all the other family members I had. For a couple of seconds that was all I could really think of. She had hated this man, and couldn’t even think of one good thing about him. His smile gradually faded into nothing, but a line across his face. “Sorry for me having to ask this, but you are Lizzy. Right?” It was so sad that this is what it had to come to. My head went into a quick nod while I opened my mouth to speak. “Hi, dad,” two steady streams of water trickled down my cheeks. This was really just the second time for me meeting him. It touched him that I would cry for seeing him and he hugged me closely to his chest. I wanted to think that this was our reunion, but it couldn’t be because we haven’t met before this besides the funeral. I couldn’t really call him Dad because he really wasn’t my father, but only in biological forms. I thought back to what my mom would always call him. It had been a while since I heard his name. It came into my head and before I could even think about it I said his name in a graceful whisper. “Max,” I loosened his grip and looked at my face. “What?” His face showed little emotion, but the running tears on his tan face. “Nothing,” I shook my head puzzled that he had heard me speak. I had thought that I had spoken softer than the sound of a feather dropping to the ground. I hugged him again. With much more force than before. “Lizzy, I um think,” he stuttered not knowing really how to word his sentence now, “we should get going back. It’s an hour drive.” He looked around on the airport’s cheap, ratted carpet for the things that I had brought with me. I held out a gray luggage bag, and he plucked it out of my right hand. We started off down a hallway where at the end was a white glass elevator. I pushed the down arrow and waited until the automatic doors opened up.

OMG! must help me! please read!? i wouldn't consider my writing the bestfor my age. . . i'm 12. but i clearly wouldn't say that it is the worse. how can i change my writing syle so i'm better? thank you so much. and for your opinion what do you already think of my writing? please rate one through ten! thank you thank you and thank you! here's part of my story. The city lights twinkled, like they were perfect little stars. I sat there silently while the plane flew higher and higher into the night sky. Every once in a while I would take a silent glance out the plane window to see dozens of stars above me. All lights on earth that I saw was a beautiful piece of heaven, but I couldn’t even remember the last time I thought anything was beautiful in the world until I saw these delicate stars. The misfortune memory came back into my head as I remembered the reason why I thought nothing in this world was beautiful to me anymore. The memory contained the disturbing images of my mom lying lifeless in the brown casket. It hadn’t seemed real at all when it happened. The past came into my head as I had a reply of that small piece of my life. I had sat in the front row of her funeral and all eyes were on me, as it finally got to my head that my mother was never going to tell me life was going to be all right, when it clearly wasn’t. My brain went back into present time as I heard a woman’s voice. I hadn’t even known that I had fallen asleep until I heard the attendant’s voice speak clearly in a polite manner into the intercom. “Attention to all passengers,” there was a silent pause as people woke up from their naps and sat up to listen to the flight attendant speak, “we will be arriving in Boston in just five minutes. At this time please put away all cell phones, music containing devices, and laptops as we prepare for a safe landing. Thank you.” Everybody did what he or she was told to do, as I just sat there quietly doing absolutely nothing but watching the plane get lower and lower until it finally landed. As passengers got off the plane, I slowly got up and grabbed my bag from above me. Two pilots came out of the cockpit to say goodbye to everyone. There were hushed goodbyes and a lot of “thank you” being said, as I slowly walked forward toward the open door, leading to the airport. Looking back was hard not to do and I finally told myself that I would only take one short glance back. A male attendant in his mid-twenties saw me glancing in his direction, and he winked, thinking that I was admiring him. But I focused more on what I was really looking at. In the right back corner was a woman holding an infant. Her face was a pale peach, her silky brown chocolate hair went down to her shoulders, and her amazing eyes were a dark golden brown. She appeared to be a very beautiful woman with her shiny brown hair bouncing as she twisted and turned to keep the baby from crying. One person came into my mind as I watched her lips sing to her baby and move into a familiar song that I knew as a child. She was so much like my mom and I didn’t even know anything about her. All I knew was that her appearance looked more and more like my mother as I kept my eyes on her. The woman rocked the baby, and took one huge sigh before she glanced up to see me staring at her. I looked down, hoping that she didn’t see me turning red. I smiled to myself in advanced of me singing myself that same song, before I swiftly walked out the door. People passed and shoved past me prior to them hugging to their awaiting family and friends. But I didn’t have a family anymore or any friends. I only had my so-called father and his happy family. I hadn’t even known who my dad was until my mom’s funeral. He had sat right next to me while the priest prayed and read from the bible. As soon as the priest had said that Lizzy McDowell would like to say a few words, Max had opened his mouth and said three words in a surprised whisper, “ Oh my god.” Just the way he had spoke showed that he had no idea he had a daughter. I had risen from my seat and went to the front of the church where the priest stood. My father had stared at me and couldn’t let the sight of me go. He had never really known why my mom had disappeared from their small town in Massachusetts. But this just might put things in perspective for him. My thoughts came back into present time as I stood in the doorway of the plane I was just on. I looked around for some person that I knew. No one exactly told me whom I was going to be living with now. On the left hand side of me was an old lady walking with a cane. Wishing that I could stay with my grandmother, I looked more intently for someone I knew. I really had no idea where to look for people that I was related to. Just then someone tapped me on my shoulder and I spun around to face the person. It was the lady that I had seen on the plane. She still held her baby close to her chest. “Excuse me, but I couldn’t help to see you looking around as if couldn’t help to see you looking around as if you were looking for someone,” she paused and smiled deeply at me and then kept on talking, “ I was wondering if you needed some assistance on finding whoever it is you are looking for.” I thought of if she really could help me look for my new guardian. She stared at me, as I was deep in thought; obviously looking for an answer. I shook my head and looked down at her baby. “Thanks for the offer, but I honestly don’t know who I am looking for.” With that, the woman gave me another warm smile and went the other direction. I decided to take a break from looking, and so I walked around the airport until I found an open chair. I sat down and closed my eyes. It was a busy night at the airport. People walked around in a hurry to get where they needed to go. I could hear the seconds from a near by clock ticking from minute to minute. Tick tock tick tock. It got louder and louder and soon that was all I could hear. My eyebrows scrunched down ma my cheeks. This was really just the second time for me meeting him. It touched him that I would cry for seeing him and he hugged me closely to his chest. I wanted to think that this was our reunion, but it couldn’t be because we haven’t met before this besides the funeral. I couldn’t really call him Dad because he really wasn’t my father, but only in biological forms. I thought back to what my mom would always call him. It had been a while since I heard his name. It came into my head and before I could even think about it I said his name in a graceful whisper. “Max,” I loosened his grip and looked at my face. “What?” His face showed little emotion, but the running tears on his tan face. “Nothing,” I shook my head puzzled that he had heard me speak. I had thought that I had spoken softer than the sound of a feather dropping to the ground. I hugged him again. With much more force than before. making a very clear U. I couldn’t take it any longer. I covered my ears, but I still couldn’t get the ticking out of my brain. Around me, voices came and families talked to one another. There was a light tap on my shoulder and my eyes slowly opened. Standing in front of me was the man who I had met at my mother’s funeral. As he smiled a dimple in his chin showed. Just like the one I had in mine. I couldn’t believe it. This was the person I had to stay with. It was a wonder of why my mom chose my own father out of all the other family members I had. For a couple of seconds that was all I could really think of. She had hated this man, and couldn’t even think of one good thing about him. His smile gradually faded into nothing, but a line across his face. “Sorry for me having to ask this, but you are Lizzy. Right?” It was so sad that this is what it had to come to. My head went into a quick nod while I opened my mouth to speak. “Hi, dad,” two steady streams of water trickled down

would this story hold up in court? September 25 2009 8:30am I set trap of putting my bed sheets at the end of my bed to touch the floor on both my and my brothers beds. I did this to determine if the maintenance guy would try and access my laptop which was placed under. 10:50 I got off of school early because class was cancelled. 11:30 I walk into apartment #11 at this time “the maintenance guy” is in the kitchen as I walk in the door is open. He says “I just got here” as he was breathing very hard sweating and was shaking. By this time I know something is up by his deceptive body language but what he doesn’t know is that I set a trap for him. I look at the beds and to my avail I found that the sheets were not as I had put them but half way up the bed. 11:40 I start to clean my room as I do this I start ripping up receipts and bank statements. Some of my statements were in my top dresser droor. I quickly look through them and one had a piece missing from it. Then I put the file in which they were stored into a bag with other random items in the closet so he could not find them. 12 I go back into the kitchen to help him. Im also at this time trying to social engineer. I find out he’s from south Africa. He had only been working at the apartments exclusively a week. He really doesn’t work at the apartments a lot. I also noticed he would like to show up when we were not there. It took him along time to do the job three simple tasks took him predicted three days to finish. 12:15 phone call It was a friend whom im expecting to be the other maintenance guy to notify him of my departure. He encoded some info that I quickly decoded. The day before I told him that I use to work for my friends dad in apartment renovations. I also told him that he was a multimillionaire. He said he cant go to the strip club with his multimillionaire boss because he was busy. The time frame he said was three hours which was the time that I left to work to the time my brother came home. I decoded strip as to take and multimillionaire boss was my room. He also stated that he had gone to the hospital and the bills were 6000 dollars. I asked him why he didn’t cut work to go he said that it was another boss. He paused in this sentence to think. Another form of deception. Then we went to the bathroom where he put clr into the shower and bath. He said that it would take two hours to clear. Who was going to be there in two hours when it was done. no one. I also noticed he didn’t have a wedding ring on which lead me to believe that he was not trustworthy because a woman doesn’t even trust him enough to marry him it sent up red flags. 1 I leave for work in suspicion 3 Leave work 3:20 I suspect that a surveillance was set in the parking lot to make the thief’s aware of my presence because when I arrived home the tools in the bathroom were still there. 4 As im am standing at a bus stop on ivy and century a red suv goes past with a person yelling indecipherable words out the back right side window.

Help with a dream. A home, a ghost, a city, and more.? Begins in a home. I was trapped in this home with others. I was told by the others it was haunted by a angry and violent ghost. The ghost was a woman. I looked outside into the front of the home staircase. This ghost woman sat with her decapitated lover and they were dressed in early 20th century clothing. Her lover was wearing a tux. I quickly started to figure a way out from the home. She turned and looked at me. I bowed at her like I was her servant. I knew I had to do this so I wouldn't get caught. I first begin to collect my things in 3 different bags. 1 bag was my backpack and I put my camcorder, a dark blue blanket, and a light blue pillow case in it. It was very full. 2nd and 3rd bags were small laptop sized. I grabbed items for one but I left the other empty. I recall grabbing a empty glass jar. I ran over to a corner of the room. The other people there went running off because they could hear the ghost woman coming. I held on to my things and she passed by.. BUT she then ordered me to follow her.. and said something about going to see the "duke". I followed quickly around in a loop.. Grabbed my things and hurried outside. I noticed the entire house had a bottomless pit surrounding it. There was a fence surrounding it also. I saw my escape.. in the corners of the porch I could jump to the fence and climb over. My sister appeared and warned me.. told me I wouldn't make it. I ignored her. I started off but a giant orange and gold semi appeared blocking my path. I went to the other corner.. and the semi truck tried again.. and it was a race. I made it. Over the fence I landed on road in a city. The buildings were COVERED with store front plastic roof advertisements. These store fronts ads connected.. creating a staircase. When I was on the road the semi truck followed me. A man man popped out, and he was dark skinned. He pulled a gun out and began to fire at me. I dodged the bullets. I kept running.. eventually climbing the advertisements. I ran into a kid.. he told me where to go. I ran toward a building that made "milk" but the kid told me the milk tasted fake. I again had to jump over a fence but this was made of barbwire. I told myself that this world wasn't real and was able to jump right over it. In the empty parking lot there was a line to a single bathroom. I cut through it and entered. A single toilet seat was there. I noticed something off and looked behind it. There was a curtain and stairs. The stairs led down to a desk and chair. A man was sitting there. I waited for him to leave and ran by the desk. Next I was in a hall.. I came to rooms with multiple doors, it was like a giant fun house and game show. I knew which doors to take. Oddly I felt I was here already.. but years ago. I stopped at one room. looked behind me and took a door which ended up as a elevator. On the roof I jumped off on to a conveyor belt. The kid I saw before could see me. The conveyor belt went over him but was heading back over to the haunted house. I stopped and tried to reverse it. Instead I jumped under it.. and jumped on another belt. It brought me inside of a factory. Inside I saw hot metal dumping barrels. I then woke up to a knock on the door.

Jokes Of The Weeek? Ok Hello My Name is Gracie Wilson founder on Jonas Brothers Must Die. Every Week I send out some really good jokes and I am starting NOW! ENJOY! WHY DO NASTY PEOPLE TAKE THE PISS OUT OF THE STARVING PEOPLE IN ETHIOPIA,I MEAN THEY ARE THE TYPE OF NICE PEOPLE YOU WOULD WANT AT YOUR BARBECUE AT THE WEEKEND,THEY WOULD BE HAPPY WITH A BIT OF BREAD AND WATER AND THEIR FACES WOULD KEEP THE FLIES OFF YOUR CHICKEN. I feel I was unfairly sacked from my job yesterday. The boss said it was wrong for me to have sex with the customers. Thats the last time I work for an undertaker I've got a new anorexic girlfriend. It's not going too well - these days, I'm seeing less and less of her. Whats yellow and covered in cobwebs?.......... Madaline McCannes bike A lady is having a baby in a hospital, as soon as the baby pops out the doctor looks at it, then starts smackin, kicking, and then throws the baby to the floor and then in the garbage can. The lady freaks out and starts screaming "you killed my baby" the doctor looks at her and starts laughin and say "ahah april fools, the baby was already dead!" :( It's friday night, and this girl wants to go out to a party, but she doesn't have a ride...so she goes downstairs and says to her dad "Dad, can I have the car keys". So he points to his balls and says, "and what are you gonna do for me"....see immediatly turns around and goes upstairs. About 15 minutes later, she figures her father was joking, so she goes back downstairs, and says "hey dad, I know you were joking, can I please have the car keys" so he does the same thing. She runs upstairs, thinking this is just gross. About half an hour later, she says...what the hell, I'll forget about it. So she goes downstairs asks, agian.....get the same answer...so she starts sucking him off....then she says "Dad your cock tastes like ass", and the father says "Oh yeah, I forgot....your brother has the car tonight Dave answers the telephone, and it's an Emergency Room doctor. The doctor says: "Your wife was in a serious car accident, and I have bad news and good news. The bad news is she has lost all use of both arms and both legs, and will need help eating and going to the bathroom for the rest of her life." Harry says, "My God. What's the good news?" The doctor says, "I'm kidding. She's dead. There was a cruise ship that ended up sinking just off the coast of a small deserted island.There where only 3 survivors: 2 guys and a girl. They lived there for a couple of years doing what was natural for men and women. After several years of casual sex all the time, the girl felt really bad about what she had been doing. She felt having sex with both guys was so bad that she killed herself. It was very tragic but the two guys managed to get through it and after a while nature once more took it's inevitable course. Well, a couple more years went by and the guys began to feel absolutely horrible about what they were doing. So... They buried her. what's yellow and blue and has a tight cunt at one end? An Aldi bag.... Osama Bin Laden has been arrested in Wales for shaggin' sheep. He said they were Islambs and he could do what ever the fuck he liked with them... An Austrian journalist asked a neighbour how long he had known Josef Fritzl’s daughter Alice. "Alice" he replied "Who the fuck is Alice?.... You mean for 24 years I've been living next door to Alice?!" Tommy asks his friend: "So what did you get for Christmas?" His friends replies: "I got a bike, a go kart, a quadbike, an xbox 360 with 30 games, a PlayStation 3 with 30 games, an electric guitar, a drum kit, a new PC, a laptop, a surround sound entertainment centre, a new watch, loads of clothes, loads of sweets, a holiday around the world, and loads more!" To which Tommy replies: "Aww, I wish I had Leukemia" ?" If Jordan is meant to be married to Peter Andre, why is she always being photographed with Gary Coleman? In a recent survey, people from Liverpool have proved to be the most likely to have had sex in the shower! In the survey, carried out for leading toiletries firm 'Lynx', a whopping 86% of Liverpudlians said that they have enjoyed sex in the shower. The other 14% said they had never been to prison. im a little mouse called keith, i circumcise men with my teeth , i dont do it for the leisure or sexual pleasure, but just for the cheese underneath!!! An eskimo who was on holiday in Wales breaks down in his rental car The A.A.patrolman checked his engine and say's to him you've blown a seal to which the eskimo say's so what you lot fuck sheep don't you?? A school teacher holds a pop quiz in class and tells the kids whoever gets an answer right can have Monday off. A school teacher holds a pop quiz in class and tells the kids whoever gets an answer right can have Monday off. 'Okay children' she says, 'who said think not what your country can do for you, but what you can do for your country'. 'Miss miss, I know' shouts MARY FAN CARA DON ALLA 'JFK'. 'Well done, you can have Tuesday off' Says the teacher. 'Oh no miss' He replies. 'I'm a good Jewish boy and my education is very important to me'. 'OK class' she says again. 'Who said, one small step for man, one giant leap for mankind'? 'Neil Armstrong miss' shouts a girl at the front. 'Well done Sophie, you can have monday off' says the teacher. 'Oh no miss' Says Sophie DO DA ALAN BEEAN COCO, 'Im a good Jewish girl, my education is very important to me'. 'Very well' says the teacher. 'I fucking hate Jews' Shouts a voice from the back of the class. 'Who said that?' Shouts the teacher in disgust? 'Adolf Hitler and I'll see you on Tuesday!!' Paddy says to Mick "I hear that the girl who played Pussy Galore in James Bond has split her fanny open!" ... Mick replies "Honor Blackman?" .. "No" says Paddy "on a dildo!" What's the difference between a television and my pregnant girlfriend? When I put a coathanger inside my pregnant girlfriend I didn't get a very good reception I came up with them but I put them on to my website for jokes and the started to spread

My boyfriend is addicted to porn. Help? So we have been together for about 6 years now. We moved in together 3 years ago and shortly after that I found unbelievable amounts of porn on his computer when I was using it. He removed it all and said it was from when he was younger. A few months later I found more on his desktop when I was using his laptop. I was extremely upset because he agreed with my opinion of porn and said he didn't use it. This time I wanted to break up because it again made me feel basically like crap. I was so depressed I actually couldn't eat for 10 days without getting sick. He didn't want to break up and kept saying he would stop because I meant more than anything to him. He also said that he would install anything so I could keep watch. I felt like that would be a little much. So a while later I was at class and was bored so I was looking at his GOOGLE search history and what would you know, tons more. My heart dropped and my friend and I spent the remainder of class looking for programs. I got home and installed K9 web protection, which I like, ok his computers. Now my boyfriend is pretty computer savy, like 100 times more than me.So I attempted to keep the program pretty hidden. K9 worked well. I didn't like how I had to actually use the computer and couldn't access it from another computer so I started looking around more. He and I again then argued and I wanted to split up but he kept saying he would stop and that he felt like crap when he looked at the stuff. I let him stay... again. I then found Sentry and also installed that so I could even check from work or class. Whenever he somehow found a program I put on there he would restore his comp. So I gave up and figured hes done. That brings me to about 5 days ago where I was in class again and bored so I looked at his GOOGLE search thing again and was looking back a few weeks and saw one search for a naked woman and a search for free passwords and emails for a porn site. Again my heart just dropped, I think I could literally feel my heart break. I knew the odds were that it was him but I figured maybe his brother somehow used his account, in a different city. So the next morning I reinstalled the GOOGLE toolbar which tracks every site visited and not just searches on google. I didnt have class that day so I was sitting at home working and thought hey lets see what hes up to. Well he was looking at that site that I had found him searching for passwords for almost a month ago. So he had been using it almost every dy. The best part is that he was at school, during break. This time I just texted him saying we were done and I layed on the bed and cried for 5 minutes. After that I ran to the shower, got dressed, did my hair and makeup, packed my bags, and packed my car all in under an hour. Long story short there, that was a long and eventfull night which resulted in my staying partially because I had class the next 2 days so I couldn't drive back to my parents house. After I had "broken up with him" through text he was saying that he was going to join a support group and get help, even if I left. I thought hey lets check and see so I looked at his google search thing again and he indeed looked for help, but for 15 minutes. Then he went back to searching for computer stuff. I figured, typicall. My friend commented that he had to be ADD or something. But that was the only time he looked for help. Currently I am still here waiting for him to finih classes so we can go back to our home town for the holidays. Im not a mean person so I can't just leave him here because he has no car. This is about as far as my plan has gotten. I have been searching for help myself and have found a variety of suggestions but you know how that is. I installed K9 again and set it to not block anythin, just monitor. I have told him that He broke my heart a few to many times and I was not going to let that happen again. I have not been the nicest to him and will barely give him the time of day. In his mind I think he thinks everything is ok bcause he keeps attempting to kiss me, which I refuse, and I also have covered myself up almost fully, which is really different from my little tangtops and shorts or so that I walk around in. I dont know what else to do. I love him and dont really want to leave him but I will if I have to. Im just lost. Help Sorry its so long.

please take a look at my question, i need serious help i think im having a breakdown seriously? Im in a feel fix, I love my bf more than anything and he says that he loves me. But during the time we have been together i have never been hurt of cried so much. His mum is interferring, he's 30 and she takes his car keys off him, his phone, his bank card and his laptop so he can't contact me. She is like the woman off psycho, she is totally deranged. When im there she is so nice, but behind my back she says she hates me. She has a big financial hold on my bf and the other night she forced him to sit there and ring me to say he wants a break from me. Apparantley when i phoned him later on he said that she was loving my tears and saying "you did good there son". I have tried to split up with him over it all even though i love him so much but i physically can't do it, i start to shake and i get uncontrolable tears and i start looking for ways to end my life. Sounds mental doesnt it? I just don;t know what to do with my life anymore. I don't want to continue. He came down last night and i tried to finish with him because he isnt putting his foot down with his mum but he cried and we just realised that we cant let her win. He was supposed to come down to mine after uni at 2 today but he never showed up and both his phones are turned off and i havent been able to reach him via the internet. I cant relax, im a bag of nerves and i need some serious help. I am so stressed that i have completely missed a menstrual period, im meant to start again today but i havent (oh and by the way im not pregnant, had a blood test done the other day). He told me that when he got home the other night from mine his mum had left him a note saying "fuck you for choosing her over me, go and fuck yourself how dare you blank me, i have loved you for 30 years alot longer than she has". She has this massive financial hold over him. She has threatened to rip my face off and disfigure me. She has five children, her youngest daughter has a baby and she cant see it because the babues father hates her. She has a son, and when she went down to her sons house over christmas her sons gf who is a nurse went for her twice. She is just horrible. Please help, i have tried my best with her i even ordered her this dvd boxset from ebay that she has been wanting for so long because i want her to accept me. But when she hid his car keys that was the last straw and i had a big row with her down the phone. I just dont know what to do, there is one miserable woman writing this question right now and she needs serious help:(

my little cousin has the worst role model ever? hes 7 and his cousin is 22. he looks up to him so much its crazy, i know my uncle wont let it happen but still he has no dreams for his future. i know hes only 7 but still, at 7 i wanted to be 1st woman president, my sister wanted to be a vet, my other cousin has dreamed of being a professional hockey player since he was 4 and if that don't work out he'll become a chef, hes 9 now, and the 4 year old cousin wants to be a chef, the 9 and 4 year old are w. the 22 year old as much as the 7 year old is. im 16 and a junior and taking my SAT's in March, and my uncle asked me about college and my 7year old cousin butts in and says "WOW Lorie u no if u go to college you will be farther in school then Cris [the 22 y/o]" i was like really? hes like yea. i asked wat do u wanna be? he said im staying home and living w. my mom forever. i was like well the only job you'll get w.o a college education is bag boy at shop-rite if ur lucky [no offense to people who work there i was trying to scare him] and then he says Cris works at shop-rite! okay his cousin just got that shop-rite job, he had a job after high school but he quit it cause it was too much work. okay that shop-rite job he got with in the last 3 months.. he has a nice laptop, i saw him w. over the summer, he has a wii, xbox 360, nice phone, ps3. i mean he has allot of stuff so my cousin sees him getting things handed to him so he wants to be just like him. both of my cousins cousins parent have pretty good jobs so they can afford it. also talking to my aunt and uncle isnt an option he thinks its funny cause its cousin isnt exactly miserable

Hairspray spill On Macbook!?!? the entire bottle of my liquid hairspray leaked at the bottom of my bag which my laptop was in....i went to take my laptop out of the bag, and the liquid was dripping from the inside of the laptop. i turned it on right away to see if it was okay (which might have no been a good idea) and it worked perfectly, i got on the internet and everything. then i shut it off. like an hour later i turned it back on it went alittle slower but loaded everything but froze. then i turned it off. later that night i turned it back on to see if it was okay after drying the battery out and it just stayed on the gray screen loading, non stop. and so i turned it off and dried it out for longer, but it still does the same thing. i called the 800 apple care and the woman lead me through this procedure but it failed with disk 1.